Runaway Star
by djenie
Summary: A beautiful planet-with a deadly secret! Jack and Sam together - or is it Jonah and Thera? Relationship-oriented, with a little adventure thrown in. Romance and Sex! Angst and Pleasure! Spoiler for Beneath the Surface, Season 4. Rating is M.
1. Chapter 1

**From djenie; **This began as a one-shot short, but I discovered it couldn't be told in one sitting! It's rated **M** . It's pretty "descriptive", although I've tried to be tasteful-I guess that's the word I want. I don't care for coarsely explicit writing, and hope this comes nowhere near that. This first chapter is tame, though.

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!

RUNAWAY STAR

**1 **

They step through the gate and into one of the most breathtaking vistas any of them has ever seen.

The gate stands in a large high meadow that slopes away gently in front of them. The air here has that sweet welcome warmth that speaks of summer in northern latitudes, and it smells of grass and pine and wildflowers. There are a hundred shades of green, ranging from the near-black of the great evergreens behind the gate to the myriad hues of thick, ankle-deep grass all around. Oak- and maple-like deciduous trees cover the hills that stretch endlessly away and below the meadow. The ground all around is dotted with flowers—blue and white and orange and yellow, daisies and lupines and paintbrush.

A range of snow-covered mountains rises in the far distance, dominated by one massive peak so gigantic it soars above the rest, and even from here seems near enough to reach out and touch. The sun, redder and larger than Sol, is low on their left in an explosion of orange and reds and golds, which are all reflected off the snow-clad behemoth before them. It is perhaps an hour until sunset.

Reigning above it all is the spectacular vision rising in the sky opposite the setting sun—the most incredible aurora-like formation imaginable, a huge crescent of pink and yellow and green, like the curl of an enormous wave; and nestled in the depth of the curl is a great blue star, immensely bright, a hundred times brighter than Earth's moon at its fullest, so bright, it is certain the planet will not see darkness tonight.

"Wow," Daniel breathes, not sure where to look, his gaze moving from one spectacular sight to the next.

Teal'c speaks a guttural word in his own language, then into English, "Paradise."

"Eden," Sam adds, awestruck.

"Yeah—well, I don't see any apple trees!" Jack blurts irreverently. The other three turn to send him exasperated looks, and he raises a hand to fend them off. "Okay, it's gorgeous, I admit it. But what the heck _is_ that?" He waves the hand toward the blue star and its magnificent curl of color.

Sam takes one of her scanners from her pack and spends a few minutes getting readings, then inputting data, and consults the results. "That's Zeta Ophiuchi, sir," she informs him.

Jack's eyebrows climb. "Zeta Oph? Really? It sure doesn't look like that from Earth."

Daniel gives him a surprised look. "You know the star's name?"

"Hey! Amateur astronomer here, Danny boy," Jack replies indignantly.

"We're probably 250 light years closer to it here, sir," Sam says.

"Yeah," Jack agrees—he gets that. "But what's _that_…" His arm traces the crescent of colors.

"That'd be its shock wave, sir," Sam says, and then continues when he gives her a look that clearly says _Huh?_ "Zeta Oph is traveling through space at about 24 kilometers per _second_. That's quite a bit faster than the velocity of objects in the surrounding space. It was probably one of a binary system, and was thrown away when its partner star went nova. It's pushing massive amounts of interstellar dust ahead of it—like the bow wave that a speedboat pushes through the water. Astronomers call it a runaway star."

They all stare upward for a few moments.

"Huh," Jack says at last. "Why the color, though? I thought interstellar dust was just—well, dusty colored."

Sam suppresses a smile. "Reflected light, sir. Ever see dust motes glittering in the sun? Like that… sort of." Her explanation is unscientific, but she's not worried; he doesn't usually care. "Anyway, that's a good question. I'm not sure of the answer—maybe something in the atmosphere filters for infrared… I'll have to think about that one, sir." She busies herself with the scanner again.

"Not now, Carter." He brushes it off. "We need to get started on the planet survey. I'm guessing we'll have enough light even after the sun sets?"

"I think so," she says. "Zeta Oph is something like 70,000 times brighter than the sun, so we shouldn't be in the dark."

Daniel has sneezed a couple of times since they came through the gate, and now has one of those multiple fits of sneezing that he gets if he forgets his allergy meds. He waves away the others' concern, assuring them that he did take his pills. "Is the star always in the night sky?" he asks when he recovers.

"No," Sam says. "This time of year the planet is almost exactly between its sun and Zeta Oph. Which means when its orbit takes it on the opposite side of the sun, Zeta would be in the day sky."

"Enough science talk! Let's get going," Jack interrupts. "Daniel, you and T go west…" he points toward the sunset. "Carter and I will go east. Radio contact every hour. We'll head back here in…oh, four hours, and make camp by the gate and then continue tomorrow. We're looking for anything interesting."

Everyone is in agreement, and they start out in opposite directions. Jack and Sam can hear Daniel sneezing again as they head across the meadow.

The land slopes down as they reach the edge of the forest and they make their way through the trees. Sam is holding her scanner and taking constant readings, but she seems to be looking around and enjoying her walk more than observing the screen. Even Jack thinks about how quiet and peaceful it is here. And how beautiful. He's surprised to realize that he is feeling relaxed, not as on edge as he usually is on a new planet, and he makes an effort to keep his eyes and ears sharp. But he is soon lulled again by the peace and silence…

After a while Sam stops beside a large evergreen, and leans her P-90 against its trunk. She looks around lazily and stretches a little. Jack stops and looks back at her, then ambles back to her side. "Find something, Major?"

"What…?" She startles a bit, looks at her scanner guiltily. "No. Not really. Sorry. I guess I was woolgathering. It's just so peaceful…" She straightens abruptly, recalling her assignment. "Nothing useful yet, sir. There are large deposits of common minerals in these mountains, iron, copper, even silver. No naquadah, though."

"Woolgathering," Jack says thoughtfully. "In other words, daydreaming. What does that have to do with wool, I wonder?"

She smiles. "I don't know, sir. I guess we can look it up when we get home."

"Maybe I'll do that, Major," he says. "In the meantime…," he swings lazily around and points vaguely east, "…we're going thataway…" She follows him when he begins walking again, forgetting her weapon against the tree.

The trees continue for perhaps another 2 kilometers. Over the last 45 minutes they have traveled downhill, at a leisurely, and a bit meandering pace, into a shallow wooded valley, and are now climbing again; they emerge into another meadow similar to the one where the gate is. This one is not quite as large; it is also filled with wildflowers, and has a gorgeous view of the mountains, and the great curl of color in the eastern sky. The sun is nearly set now, and the star is higher; colors have deepened, and become richer as the sunlight fades, the star's bluish light sharpening the edges of objects, but visibility is lessened only a little. The sun will be gone in fifteen minutes or so, but Sam has no concern for their ability to see where they are going.

They continue over the top of the meadow, and then pause. Below them is a small lake, the clear water reflecting the colors in the sky. They both stare for a few moments, just enjoying.

"Looks like a good place to rest, down there by the water, Carter," Jack says. "We've walked far enough for a while." She follows him as he starts down the slope.

They reach the edge of the lake, and Jack stops and puts down his P-90. Sam sees, realizes she has left hers somewhere, frowns for an instant, and then dismisses the thought as unimportant. Much more appealing is the idea of simply relaxing in the beauty of this place. Jack is removing his cap, sidearm and vest and he drops them on the ground. She thinks that looks like a great idea and does the same. Then, on impulse, she sits down and removes her boots and socks. She scoots to the edge of the water, and cautiously puts a foot in. It is cold, but feels nice, so she rolls up her pant legs and thrusts in both feet. "Mmmmm…" she says.

"Feel good, Carter?" Jack is sitting just behind her left shoulder, taking off his own boots and socks. "Warm enough to swim in?"

"Not really. But it does feel good on hot feet."

He slides down and sits beside her, putting his feet in next to hers. "Brrrr," he says, but eases them in further.

They sit for a while. The sun goes down in a final burst of fiery color. Zeta Oph and its wave now dominate the sky. Sam lies back into the grass to look upward. Zeta is so bright she needs to squint a little. Jack flops back beside her.

"How beautiful!" Sam says softly after a few moments.

"Yeah," he agrees. He turns his head from side to side. "Looks kind of like a leaping dolphin, don'cha think?"

She squints harder, and after a bit of concentration can see what he means. After a while she realizes she is close to dozing off, and her feet are starting to get chilly. Reluctantly, she draws them out of the water, and sits up.

"Goin' somewhere, Sam?" Jack asks languidly.

"Uh-uh. Just don't want to fall asleep." She hardly notices his use of her first name.

"Would be easy to do, wouldn't it?"

"Mm-hm." She sits a while longer in the quiet, mesmerized by the shock wave's reflection in the water. One of her scanners beeps and momentarily she recalls what they are supposed to be doing. She should get the scanner from her vest. "Maybe we should get moving," she suggests. There is no answer, and she looks over and sees that his eyes are shut. "Jack, are you awake?" She has forgotten the scanner.

"Yep, barely," he murmurs. He turns his head and looks up at her. "You look very beautiful tonight, Sam." His voice is barely audible.

She vaguely realizes that she should be disturbed by his saying that, but she's not. In fact, his words send a ripple of pleasure through her body. "Thank you," she whispers. "You look pretty good yourself."

He sits up and pulls his feet out of the water, and they look at one another for a time. He thinks, _Thera_. And closes his eyes. _Not Sam, she is Thera. And he is Jonah._ He shakes his head; where did that come from?

"Something wrong?" she asks, shivering a little, aware that she has been daydreaming again. Looking at his face, she has pictured him unshaven, in rough workman's clothes. _And he looks really good that way. He has his arms around her and they are lying together..._

Jack shakes his head and answers her question. "Nope. Everything's fine." But it's not, and he knows it. Something is definitely… not wrong, exactly, but _different_. It's just so hard to concentrate... And the thought slips away, and he is staring at her, still entranced by her beauty. "God, you're so lovely…" he says softly.

Reaching out, he lays his hand on hers, and she pulls in her breath with startled pleasure and turns her hand so their fingers can entangle. He raises their joined hands to his mouth, and kisses the back of hers, and sees her eyes drift shut. He tugs gently, and she comes toward him and they lean together until their lips are nearly touching…and then they _are _touching…and then they are parted and straining greedily to each other…

They are shockingly interrupted by the signal from Jack's radio, and Teal'c's voice calling O'Neill. For a moment he is very confused. _Who is he calling? Who is O'Neill? Where is the radio?_ He fumbles his clothing, then sees his vest on the ground, and realizes the voice is coming from there.

Jack scrambles to his feet and goes over and picks up the vest with the radio attached, thumbs the button. "T?"

"O'Neill. Is everything all right with you?"

Jack looks over at Sam, who looks stunned, and is staring at him with wide glazed eyes. "Ah, sure. What's up? Where are you?"

"We are on our way back to the gate, O'Neill. DanielJackson has been taken ill. An allergic reaction to something, he believes." In the background, Jack can hear coughing and sounds that seem as if someone is in distress.

"Oh," he says to Teal'c, not sure how to reply. "Okay."

"I will take him back to the SGC. We are very near the gate now. We will not wait for you."

"Oh. No…no, don't wait. Go. Do what you have to do." Jonah's confusion is growing. _Where were they going? Who is Daniel? What is happening? _He looks at Thera. She appears as confused and lost as he is.

"Will you stay on the planet to continue the survey, O'Neill?" Teal'c asks.

"Uh…uh." Jack is still staring at Sam; she is getting to her feet. "I think… umm, we'll follow you shortly…" He reaches out a hand toward her.

"Very good, O'Neill. We are at the gate. We will see you soon."

Thera is nodding at him, so Jonah feels as if he has given the right answers. "Later." He presses the off button on the radio. She is standing near the water now looking bewildered. "I wonder what that was all about?" he says, shaking his head, trying to clear it.

"I don't know, Jonah," she says uncertainly. "I…I mean…" All at once she is very dizzy, and the ground tilts beneath her. "Oh…" She takes a step toward him, and finds he is very far away, and then he is gone, and everything goes black.

"Thera!" Jonah sees her start to fall, and reaches for her, but he is suddenly overcome with vertigo, and is falling, even as he nearly touches her. Falling…

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	2. Chapter 2

**2 **

He wakes slowly…so slowly. His sleep was so good, deep… Reluctantly his eyes drift open. He is outdoors, in a field, lying on a blanket. He tries to recall how he came here, but it is too difficult, and it doesn't matter, anyway. Turning onto his back, he gazes up at the sky; the blue star and its accompanying sweep of color make him smile.

Someone is beside him. He turns his head lazily to see, and catches his breath. _She is so pretty,_ he thinks. Sleeping, she is turned on her side toward him, and he studies her face, smooth, peach colored skin, perfect lips, the lower fuller and slightly pouty, parted as she breathes. Hair like sunshine—cut very short, tousled; arched blond brows, with long lashes to match lying on her cheeks. A thrill rushes through his body, settles between his legs, and he moves away a little, embarrassed. He wonders what color her eyes are. Her skin looks so soft, he moves his hand toward her, but does not dare touch…

His eyes travel further; her throat and shoulders—smooth, creamy—are bare, her arms curled so that her hands are tucked under her cheek. She is wearing a kind of silky shirt, with thin straps, blue—heavenly blue… _I think her eyes are blue... How do I know that?_ He can see the swell of her breasts under the shirt, and he quickly averts his gaze, but it is too late and his body is tensing again, growing hard and urgent. He sucks in a deep breath and holds it, closing his eyes until he feels more in control.

_Who is she?_ He knows her. He is sure that he knows her. And yet, everything about her is new and fascinating. He cannot recall who she could be or where he might have seen her. But it is enough simply to lie here and look at her, to wait, perhaps, for her eyes to open—they _are_ blue—he is sure, now, that they are blue...

She breathes, feels the air filling her lungs, waking her body. Another breath, and she opens her eyes—and looks into the deepest, most beautiful, dark brown eyes she has ever seen. Gentle, warm, full of sweetness. A beautiful face; chiseled lips, but soft, and vulnerable, perfect chin, thick brows—a scar bisecting one of them. The best, kindest, most desirable face she can imagine.

And he is looking back at her with an expression of such longing and love and uncertainty that her whole being goes out to him. She smiles and his lips curve in answer. No name for him comes to her mind, no memory of him, but he is hers, _the one_, the most important being in her world. She sees into his soul, to the goodness there; it is in his eyes, and on his face.

Her gaze goes to his body, and her breath hitches. He has a cloth draped around his hips, but otherwise he is naked. Bronzed skin stretches tightly over the strongly developed muscles of his chest; wide shoulders, narrow waist, deeply defined biceps. His nipples are erect, hard and inviting. Licking her lower lip, she catches it between her teeth, thinking how it will feel to run her tongue over those nipples. Liquid heat rises and pools at her core; her body loosens and her thoughts cloud with arousal. Every nerve ending sings with anticipation.

"You are so beautiful," he whispers, and pleasure fills her heart. He reaches out toward her, and pauses. "May… I?"

She nods, then watches as his hand approaches slowly and brushes her shoulder, gently traces the length of her arm, and reaches for her hand. She opens it to him and his fingers trail lightly across her palm. The touch is electric, and she gasps with shock. Closing her fingers on his, she draws his hand up to her lips, and kisses it, caressing his skin with her tongue, all the time keeping her eyes locked on his. His eyes widen and glaze with desire, and she sees his battle to hold himself back. She releases his hand, and he strokes her cheek with his knuckles; her lips tremble. Her fingers reach for his body and her nails skate lightly across his chest. Air whooshes from his mouth and he groans heavily. She reaches down and pulls away the cloth draped across his hips, exposing his full readiness. Through the silky fabric of her shirt, her nipples stand out high and hard; he catches one between thumb and forefinger and rolls it lightly, causing her to shudder and shriek.

He is breathing hard now, and she is making small sounds deep in her throat, and she sits up, pulling her shirt up over her head and throwing it aside; he pushes her onto her back and leans over her, and his groans thicken and become a deep, constant purr, despite the fact that his mouth is fully occupied with one of her breasts, and his tongue is bringing her closer… oh, so much closer to that which she desires so deeply.

The pants she was wearing have vanished and he is lying between her legs, and her legs are wrapped around his body and with a ragged sigh he slides into her soft heat, slipping in deeply, and kissing her mouth, devouring her mouth with his greedy one; they are both moving, moving in rhythm, together, moving, thrusting, until together they reach their peak, and they rise and soar together…

Afterward they lie, holding tightly to each other, legs entwined, her head on his chest, his face buried in her hair, breathing in the scent of one another.

"My name is Jonah," he tells her softly.

"I'm Thera," she replies.

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**3**

"Well, doctor?" General Hammond says quietly. He is standing at the foot of Daniel's bed with Janet and Teal'c.

"He's going to be fine," Janet tells them. "It was an allergic reaction to something on the planet. He's been exposed to high levels of histamines. Slightly different than what you usually find on Earth, so his meds weren't effective enough. Once he was back here, away from the exposure, he started improving immediately. He should be back to normal in a few hours."

Something in her tone tells Hammond there is more. "What else, Dr. Fraiser?"

She frowns slightly. "Daniel has also been exposed to some sort of radiation. Nothing I recognize, and it doesn't seem to have hurt him. It's dissipating, but we found traces in his blood tests. I checked Teal'c, and found it on _his_ skin, his symbiont has evidently cleaned it from his blood. The radiation may be harmless—we get exposed to lot of kinds that are. But until I know more, I'd suggest anyone who goes to that planet wear full hazmat gear and go through decontamination when they get back."

Hammond exchanges glances with Teal'c. Both men have tensed. "O'Neill and MajorCarter have been on P6R-724 for over four hours, GeneralHammond. They have not answered our radio hails. I ask permission to return and search for them. I will go alone so as not to risk anyone else."

Hammond looks at him for a few moments, then turns to Janet. "Doctor? What do you think?"

"I think Teal'c is safe, sir. But anybody else should be suited up just in case."

"I'll ask for volunteers to go with you," Hammond decides. "I'm sure we'll find some."

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	3. Chapter 3

**I'm sorry it has taken so long to get this update posted! _ Tel nok shock_, thanks for urging me on! And thank you to everyone for reading - hope you enjoy.**

**4**

Every member of every SGC team currently on base volunteers. General Hammond chooses SG-3 and SG-7 to accompany Teal'c, and asks the rest to stand by in case they are needed. The teams suit up as Janet recommends, and head out through the gate.

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**5**

She wakes and finds herself alone. Alarmed, she sits up and looks around, then smiles as she sees him emerging from the woods. Something is in his hands.

God, he is magnificent; she shivers as she watches him come toward her, his nakedness glowing in the star's light. He moves quickly, strongly, every part of his body functioning with efficiency…and beauty! A smile lights his face as he sees her looking at him, and her senses leap with pleasure.

It is fruit that he holds in his hands, and she smiles. "You said there were no apple trees…" she teases as he drops down eagerly beside her and takes her in his arms.

"Me?" He is kissing her, and speaks against her lips. "Don't remember saying that…" His tongue reaches, his hands caress.

"Mmmm…" she hums, no longer caring what they were talking about, drawing him closer, opening to him…

The fruit lies forgotten on the grass.

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**6**

Later they cuddle together, breathing the same air, occupying the same space.

"Endorphins…" The word comes into her mind, she doesn't know from where, and she whispers it aloud.

"What…?" he murmurs. "Dolphins?"

She smiles. "Endorphins… something our brains produce that makes this feel so good…"

"Mmmm... Dolphins…"

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**7**

Teal'c is the one who finds them, just as they fell, at the edge of the lake. Sam is crumpled on the grass, near her abandoned boots and socks; Jack is stretched prone, one arm flung out before him, his fingers nearly touching Sam's sleeve. They are both barefoot, and their weapons, vests and gear are on the ground. Teal'c kneels beside each of them, checking for pulse, sighing with relief when he finds it strong and regular. He speaks to them and tries to wake them, but neither responds at all. He calls for help on his radio as he begins to check for injuries, and is joined quickly by the other searchers. Janet has insisted on coming with them, but there is nothing she can do here, since both have good vital signs, and no wounds that she can find.

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**8 **

"Something has happened," Thera says.

"They have found them," Jonah replies. "They will take them back through the stargate."

She reaches for his hand, fearful. "Will that make us…?" she falters.

"Go back to the way we were?" he finishes. "I don't know what will happen." He holds her tightly, and they find solace in each other's body.

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**9**

Jacob is at the SGC when the search party returns. He and Selmak have just finished telling General Hammond what the Tok'ra know about the planet they have just visited.

Janet can tell that Hammond is angry when he meets them in the gate room. "Another example of the Tok'ra's failure to share intel with us," he tells her. "As soon as you have them settled, come to the briefing room."

Janet takes Sam and Jack to the infirmary where she does a more thorough physical exam—still finding no wounds—and then orders every test she can think of. During the exam, both Sam and Jack remain unresponsive. But afterward they become unaccountably agitated. There is no sign they are regaining consciousness, however. When their restless movements continue to increase, Janet reluctantly adds a low dose of mild sedative to their IVs. It is half an hour before she is free to go and find out what the Tok'ra have to tell them.

Jacob is extremely upset, and refusing to allow Selmak to speak. He is pacing the briefing room. Selmak has withdrawn, and has ceased trying to calm her host, recognizing that his anger is directed at all Tok'ra, including his symbiont, and each time she attempts to speak it only makes Jacob more furious.

Hammond explains what he has learned to Janet. "The planet once housed a Goa'uld torture facility. It was abandoned by them long ago when the device they were using proved dangerous to themselves. Evidently the thing is still active and is responsible for the radiation you detected." His expression hardened even more. "The Tok'ra attempted to destroy the facility when they discovered it, but were unable to do so. They placed a prohibition order against visiting the planet—which they never shared with us!"

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**10**

"They're both getting restless again, Doctor. And they both have slight fevers," Nurse Abby Tyler reports. "I added 500 mils acetaminophen to their IVs. Should I increase the sedation?"

"No, not yet," Janet says into the phone. "Have someone stay with them, though." She has risen from her seat in the briefing room to take this call from the infirmary. So far, she has not learned the reasons for the Tok'ra's ban on the planet.

"We ran the MRI brain scans you ordered and they're almost identical," Abby continues. "The cerebral cortex and thalamus are showing greatly increased activity. And the emotion centers are off the charts. Doctor, those are areas of the brain that are activated during dreaming."

Janet glances back at the table where Hammond, Teal'c, and a still angry Jacob are waiting for her. "Thank you, Abby. I'll be up there as soon as I can. Keep monitoring both of them carefully. Call me if _anything_ changes." She puts down the phone and turns back to the table. "Gentlemen, can we please cut to the chase. I want to know exactly what kind of torture the Goa'uld inflicted at that place. General Carter, I need to talk to Selmak."

Jacob yields to Selmak and the host's expression immediately clears and becomes calmer. "How may I help, Dr. Fraiser?"

"Tell me about the facility."

Selmak nods once.

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**11**

"We're still here," Jonah says, drawing her close. "Are you all right?"

Thera nods. "Just surprised," she admits. "I thought we would be... separated, when they passed through the gate. Something... I don't understand."

"No. I don't either." He does not want to think about what is happening, only about her, and how good it feels to be with her, holding her.

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**NOTE; I don't know anything about brain scans or that kind of stuff, so please don't be too tough on me!**


	4. Chapter 4

**12 **

"The Tok'ra first heard of the planet which you call P6R-724 approximately twelve hundred of your years ago." Eyebrows go up around the table, as Selmak explains. "Dr. Fraiser, first, please let me assure you that the radiation you detected is harmless. We have tested it thoroughly, and found no long term effects. The torture device, however, can inflict severe mental stress. Waking nightmares. Loss of memory. Hallucinations. The Goa'uld could create a scenario and make the victim live through it, usually involving great mental anguish. They would begin by making the victim feel safe, relaxed, pleasured. Once he was lulled into such a state, the torturers would change tactics. Victims would see their families in anguish, believe the people they trusted most had betrayed them, be driven nearly to suicide by despair—and then pulled back into the feeling of safety, only to have the cycle repeated. No one was able to withstand it, and very few survived." Selmak pauses while Janet, who has dropped into a chair partway through this description, absorbs what she has said. "They assumed their own symbionts would be able to counter the effects, and at first they seemed to, but the effects were cumulative over a period of time. The Goa'uld in the facility began to go mad, see plots and conspiracies everywhere. They killed each other. Eventually the facility and the planet were abandoned."

"But the device is still active?" Janet asks. "They didn't shut it down?"

"Apparently that is so," Selmak says. "It is buried deep underground, in the mountains. Ring transporter access is disabled. The Tok'ra could not reach it or destroy it. It appears to be totally inaccessible."

"How do you know about it, then?" General Hammond asks.

"Goa'uld prisoners told us. Some were those who had worked there, including a scientist who helped to develop the device. Remember, this was over a millennium ago. The Tok'ra have moved many times since; records have been abbreviated to save computer spaces. Details have been lost. After the Tok'ra discovered it, the planet was visited by us a number of times; it eventually became evident that unjoined humans were affected after being on the planet for a time. They became indecisive, easily distracted, irrational, forgetful."

"Do you know how this thing works?" Janet wants to know.

"According to the records, the Goa'uld scientist who created it used some variation of the hand device. He had found a way of modifying the energy output so it would affect different parts of the brain—increase or suppress the production of endorphins, for example. It could also affect the type and level of brain waves, thus inducing mood changes, and a state of high susceptibility to suggestion. The information in our databanks is not detailed. We theorize that the device is in a kind of 'neutral gear' as Jacob would say. It is still giving off energy and radiation at a very low level. That level is enough to affect anyone on the planet, but without someone in direct control, the effects are vague, as I have described earlier—forgetfulness, indecision, something of a dream state perhaps. I am sorry I do not have anything more precise to give you. The Tok'ra issued a ban against going to the planet. Unfortunately it was programmed into the DHD system, not issued as a general warning."

"The SGC does not possess a DHD," Teal'c says, "so the ban was not triggered when we dialed the planet."

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**13**

"Dolphins…" he whispers drowsily and she smiles, deciding not correct him; at this moment, she feels too good to make the effort. Instead she sighs with contentment and burrows in against his side.

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**14**

They sit and eat the fruit he found some time ago; it is more peach-like than apple, but she still jokes about it. Juice dribbles down his chin, and she licks it off. And then she licks his lips, and soon they are kissing passionately. Her breasts are pushed hard against his chest and the feel of them against his skin feeds his desire. His hand slips down lower, and finds that she is ready for him… "Oh, yes," she murmurs.

"It can't be much longer," he says later as they lie in each other's arms and gaze up at Zeta, now well past its zenith. "They'll wake soon."

"Do you think they'll remember?" she asks.

Shaking his head, he wraps his arms tightly around her.

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**15 **

It has been ten hours since Sam and Jack were brought back through the gate. In the SGC it is 0400. Daniel is recovered from his allergic reaction and has spent most of the night in a chair between his two friends' beds. Right now he is dozing. Teal'c is seated on the far side of Jack's bed, wide awake. Jacob, equally alert, sits on Sam's other side. Occasionally they talk, to each other, or to the sleepers. General Hammond has been up to the infirmary at least once every hour. Janet has been in and out, each time suggesting that the visitors should go and rest, even though she knows she will be ignored.

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**16**

Above them the sky has changed. The last remnant of the runaway star's brilliant wave will soon disappear in the west—the star itself has been gone for half an hour. In the east, the red sun is rising.

"They don't want to wake up," she says, frowning faintly. It is hard to worry about anything, when it's all so perfect here, and she and he are together and loving each other like this. But this bothers her a little, nags at the back of her mind.

He rolls over and kisses her shoulder, and then proceeds on to nuzzle her neck, and at last moves down to her breast, using his tongue, which is rough and soft all at once, and she quickly forgets about the bothersome thing…

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**17**

Jack opens his eyes; he sees nothing clearly, all around him is a grayish blur. Someone speaks to him, but he does not understand what is said.

"O'Neill!" Teal'c tries once more, more insistently, but still gets no reaction. Jack's eyes are closed again. He mumbles something…

"What did he say?" Daniel demands.

"He said… _dolphin._" Teal'c replies in a puzzled tone.

They send for Janet and tell her what has happened. She checks Jack's vitals, and notes that his blood pressure and heart rate have risen somewhat. "I think he's finally waking up," she says. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**18 **

They are sitting on the blanket holding one another. The landscape around them has grown vague and indistinct. In the sky the sun is a dim red haze, glowing through thick fog.

They kiss deeply, as if saying good-bye.

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	5. Chapter 5

**19**

It is 0930 hours, and both Sam and Jack are awake. The crowd which has surrounded their beds since they woke—almost at the same moment an hour ago—has left, chased away at Janet's insistence. Both of them are still a little disoriented, and neither has had much to say. They are lying in their beds, turned on their sides toward one another; the lights are low, but they can see, they are only a few feet apart. Brown eyes and blue ones are locked together, and it feels to both of them as if they are having a long conversation despite the silence; each is _that_ sure they know what the other is thinking.

By 1300 hours Janet has run another full battery of tests, and discharges them from the infirmary shortly thereafter. Both seem to her to be in perfect health, even if they are quieter than usual—and in Jack's case considerably more cooperative than normal. She asks them to come back the next day to be checked. Neither of them mentions any dreams they may have had. They leave the infirmary together.

They attend a long debriefing at 1400 hours, where they learn about the installation on the planet from Jacob and Selmak. After the debriefing, General Hammond orders both of them, along with Daniel, to take some time off. "Make it ten days. That means off base, people," Hammond emphasizes. SG-1 has been removed from the mission rotation for an unspecified length of time, so there's little for them to do here. To his surprise, not even Sam objects.

Daniel suggests that the four of them get together at Jack's house later, he'll bring pizza and a Star Wars movie. Jack puts him off; tomorrow night, or maybe the one after, Jack will let them know. They go off in different directions, Jack to his office, Sam and Daniel to their respective labs, Teal'c to his quarters.

Jacob accompanies Sam to her lab, relieved beyond words at her excellent recovery. Unfortunately, he tells her, he and Selmak have urgent Tok'ra business to attend to on the far side of the galaxy, and he must leave shortly. She assures him she is fine and he promises to visit again as soon as possible.

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**20**

At 1645 hours Sam is closing files on her computer, and organizing some work to take home with her, when Jack walks into the lab and closes and latches the door. She feels a thrill of pleasure at seeing him.

"Cameras," she says quietly.

He knows. But there is no sound surveillance in here. "I just want to talk."

"Okay."

He pulls a stool over to the lab table and sits facing her across it. "What happened to us?" he asks bluntly.

"The Goa'uld device affected our judgement, and our memory. Made us do and say things…" she trails off.

"I remember all of it. The lake, being barefoot, the dreams. You and I—the star... Dolphins." The corner of his mouth quirks a little. "You do, too, don't you?"

"Yes. I remember."

He rests his elbows on the table and stares into her eyes. "What about the dreams? Thera? Jonah?"

"The personality stamps we got on P3R-118—somehow they must have been re-activated, maybe by the device, or the radiation," she says. "I'll have to…" She clears her throat. "I haven't had time to analyze it all."

"Don't _analyze_ it. How do you _feel_?" He stops. "I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't mean to snap at you. How could we have the same dream…together?"

"I don't know. The Goa'uld device…"

"I just need to understand…" He puts his hand on the table near where hers is lying.

"Cameras," she says again, and her voice is shaking. "I know. I need it, too…" She gets her voice under control. "I don't know enough yet to explain it. Maybe once I've seen the results of the medical scans and talked to Janet." She pulls her hand into her lap.

Jack makes a fist and beats it lightly on the top of the table. "Have you told anyone…about the dreams?"

She shakes her head. "No. Maybe we shouldn't—at least not yet."

He nods. They look into each other's eyes. They are incredibly drawn to one another, and at the same time, deeply apprehensive.

Abruptly he stands up. "I'm leaving the base. Going home."

She nods and watches him walk out the door, sits still for a moment, then gathers her things and prepares to leave as well. _He called her Sam._

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**21**

Three quarters of an hour later Jack walks in his front door and drops his jacket on the couch. In the kitchen he opens the refrigerator and finds the usual: beer, an assortment of condiments, a couple of science experiments. He takes out a beer, shuts the door and orders a pizza.

Sam stops at the organic market on her way home; she buys cheese and salad vegetables. She picks up some wine at the corner liquor store. When she gets home she changes into a pair of lounge pants and a tank top and goes into the kitchen to start making her dinner. She pours a glass of wine and sips it while she prepares the salad.

By the time the pizza arrives Jack is on his fourth beer—or maybe his fifth. He stares at the box and thinks he ought to take it over to Carter's and share; she's probably got salad fixings to go with it. But he knows he shouldn't drive after drinking 4—ok, 5 beers in less than an hour. So instead he sets the box on the coffee table in the living room and digs into the couch for the TV remote.

The salad is ready and Sam sets it in the fridge because she really isn't hungry yet, and pours another glass of wine. She should take the salad and go over to the Colonel's house; he has undoubtedly ordered a pizza by now, and they could share both. But she doesn't have the energy to get dressed again and drive all the way across the city. The phone rings, and she hears Daniel leave a message, and promises herself she'll call him back before the evening is over.

By 7:30 Jack is pretty drunk. He lost track of the number of beers a while ago, and the number of trips to the bathroom doesn't bear thinking about. He shuts off the lights, and makes his way unsteadily to his bedroom where he lies down on the bed fully dressed, and indulges in completely inappropriate fantasies of a naked Carter until he falls into a troubled sleep.

Sam never does call Daniel back. By the time she eats her salad, she has had three glasses of wine, and while she's not drunk, she can definitely feel the effect. She is tired and, she hopes, sleepy enough to fall asleep quickly. It's only about 9 o'clock—and after all, she slept for about 20 of the past 36 hours-but still bed seems like the best idea right now. She turns out the downstairs lights and climbs the stairs to her bedroom. After brushing her teeth, she gets in bed and shuts off her lamp. As she gazes into the darkness, her mind begins to wander, and she finds herself fantasizing about making love to Jack under the stars.

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	6. Chapter 6

**22 **

Jack awakens around 3 a.m. with a headache—though not as much of one as he expected—and a definite ache in another part of his anatomy. He gets up and takes some aspirin for his head, then gets into the shower and stands there for a long time. Afterward he feels better, but despite steadily cooling down the temperature of the water, his lower ache remains. All he can think of is Carter, and how she looked on that blanket in the grass; how it felt to make love to her. _How can a dream feel so real? Another part of him—Jonah—refuses to admit that it was only a dream. _

_She startles herself awake calling out his name. _Sam rolls over and looks at the clock. 4:15. She has spent much of the night immersed in fantasies. Or memories; she is not sure which. The part of her that is Thera vividly recalls making love to Jonah, although previously she had pushed those memories as far to the back of her mind as she could manage. That is no longer possible. The images are sharp and clear. The bunk where she and Jonah slept was hard and narrow, and they were in a barracks full of other workers; the only privacy was provided by blankets they hung from the upper rail and the careful deliberateness with which everyone ignored intimate activities. But comfort did not matter, nor did privacy, because they had each other.

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It is nearly 5:00 a.m. when he parks his truck on the street in front of Carter's house, and gets down and heads for her front door. There are lights on inside, but as he climbs the steps, they go out, and the front door opens and Sam comes out onto the porch. She stops with the door pulled half shut behind her, and he freezes with one foot on the top step and they stare at one another.

An eternity seems to pass as they stand there.

He moves first, and crosses the space between them swiftly; he brackets her head with his hands and leans down to claim her mouth with his. The kiss is deep and long and they are both fully immersed. He is exploring her mouth with his tongue, and sliding his hands down her back to cup her buttocks—firm and sweet and perfect in his hands—and pull her body tight against his erection. Her tongue plays with his, and one hand slips under his T-shirt and finds its way along the smooth hard muscles of his chest so her fingers can tease his hardened nipples; meanwhile her other hand caresses the back of his neck and pulls him closer. Without taking his lips from hers, he urges her backward into the hallway, kicking the door shut behind him. Pinning her against a nearby wall, he continues to ravish her mouth as he pushes one knee between her legs, which she opens to him, and lifts her up onto her toes. She is fumbling with the closure of his jeans, clumsy with need, and finally manages to free the stubborn metal button, and starts to work on the zipper, while he is pulling her tank top over her head, and reaching next for the waistband of her pants. Soon their clothes are in a puddle around their feet, and they are skin to skin, hard and tight, soft and yielding...

"Where…?" he demands in a strangled growl.

"Couch," she whispers, thick-voiced.

In the near-dark, still kissing, touching, teasing, caressing, they manage to make their way into her living room, to the thankfully huge, roomy couch, and they fall into the cushiony depths in a tangle of arms and legs, with groans and sighs of pleasure. She pushes him down on his back and straddles his hips, taking him in with one long motion, and then they are both lost in the sensations that rise from the heat of their joining—sensations that grow and expand and peak into an explosion of ecstasy.

"Where were you going?" Jack murmurs into her hair. They are enclosed in the depths of the couch, wrapped in each other's arms, floating…

"To find you," she says, smiling against his neck.

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**23**

Sometime later they move from the couch up to her bedroom. They snuggle for a while, and then she begins to tease and tickle him, avoiding his attempts to fondle her and pin her down—her tongue and hands are everywhere, finding sensitive places he doesn't know he has—until he is begging for mercy.

"Come on, Carter," he pleads, after a while. "I'm an old man! I can't take much more of this!"

"Old, my foot! You'll take whatever I want to give you, sir!" she declares, laughing, dodging the hand that is reaching for her breast.

"I don't think so!" He flips her onto her back and straddles her, shoving her hands above her head and holding them there. "Now what're you gonna do?"

She squirms and twists, giggling, but is unable to free herself. When he catches both her wrists in one of his hands and uses the other to torture one of her nipples, she adds squeaks to her repertoire.

"Carter! You're squealing like a girl!" he taunts, laughing. He leans down and claims the second nipple with his tongue. He finds the noises she makes in response to this extremely satisfying.

"Ooohh... J… Jack! ...not fair…"

"Say please, Carter," he croons.

"Please! Please, sir…" The rest is lost in her shrieks, as he quickly readjusts himself and slides down between her legs.

Yes, it is all so very satisfying…

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They sleep for a little while, held intimately in one another's arms, and awaken aroused and wanting. When she rises above him to bend down and kiss his cheek, his eyes, his mouth, her breasts molding themselves to his chest, one leg thrown damply across his belly, the love and desire he feels render him speechless, even as she whispers her own desires in his ear.

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Getting into the shower together may have been a mistake, he realizes—but, oh! such a pleasurable one, as they rub soap-slicked bodies against each other, with warm water cascading down over their heads—since balance is impaired and they must cling together to stay on their feet.

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Lying quietly in bed with her in his arms is the purest bliss—one hand cups a soft breast while the other draws her close and caresses the smooth skin of her back. Her head is on her shoulder, and now and then he feels it turn slightly so she can kiss his collarbone; one of her hands rests on the inside of his thigh and the other moves lazily across his jaw and plays with his ear. Gradually their movements slow until at last they grow still.

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	7. Chapter 7

**24**

_She spends a lot of time touching him, stroking his arms and back, kissing his throat, running her tongue along his lower lip, rubbing her cheek against his and her breasts on his chest—making his nerve ending sing. He gets to know every nuance of her expressions, the faraway look in her blue eyes as they make love, the little hitch in her breath when she sees him naked, the faint hum of pleasure as he caresses her sensitive places, the tiny sigh that says she is momentarily satisfied. It is like a drug, a long delirious high. They are totally besotted with each other; each touch demands more, every look evokes desire... _

It is two days before they begin to come back down to earth. He arrived at her house early Tuesday morning; Thursday around noon they wake to a more realistic world.

Jack is awake first, and he lays quietly watching Sam sleep beside him, his passion banked for now to warmth and tenderness. Bright sunlight is coming through the window, and there is something very stable and ordinary about it; it almost makes him wonder if the past two days have been an extension of the dream.

He gets up and puts on his jeans, and goes downstairs to the kitchen. Coffee, he thinks, and finds what he needs and sets up the coffee maker. The kitchen is a mess. He recalls that they have eaten sporadically, whatever came to hand, ignoring dishes, silverware, crumbs and trash. The cat is crying at his feet and he sees that her water bowl and her food dish are empty. _Jeez, I hope we fed her, _he thinks. He gives her water—the milk in the carton on the counter has spoiled—and starts searching the cupboards for her food. Above the refrigerator he finds cans of cat food, opens one and spoons the fishy smelling stuff into her dish. She dives into it, throwing a reproachful _'meow'_ in his direction.

At first he can't find any bread—he finally locates bagels in the freezer, and puts one in the microwave to thaw, and then pops it in the toaster. He butters it and eats as he works in the kitchen. Sorting over the dirty dishes, and rinsing them, he loads the dishwasher. He dumps the spoiled milk down the drain and rinses the container, wipes down the countertop, picks up clutter from the table and floor, and begins to sweep the floor.

All the time he is doing this, his mind is working, considering... He is one month short of his forty-eighth birthday, too young to give up his military career, but too old to think he's going to get many other opportunities like this one with Carter. Besides, he thinks, he doesn't want 'other opportunities'—he wants _Carter!_ This is a somewhat shocking revelation for him, he has never admitted it to himself before, and he stops what he is doing to consider it. _He wants Sam Carter._ He tries out the idea in his mind. _He wants to spend the rest of his life with her._ He lets this truth settle into his head.

After a little bit, he goes back to his clean-up. Another truth he's refused to acknowledge is that since he met her the choice for him has been between Sam and the Air Force, and he's been refusing to choose. But _not_ deciding is also a decision, he realizes. He is, in effect, not choosing her. _And you can be sure she knows it, Jack! _ _She knows she has never come first with you! _ It is a humbling thought, one he does not really want to face.

_So where does he go from here? _He finds he is sweeping the floor with much more vigor than is needed. _What am I willing to give up to have her?_ he asks himself. _ How far am I willing to go? _ Searching out the dustpan, he picks up the sweepings and puts them in the trash, then replaces dustpan and broom in the hall closet. The kitchen definitely looks better than when he came down. Coffee is ready, so he pours himself a cup, and sits down at the table.

Sam wakes and rolls over in the bed to find that Jack is not there. For an instant her heart seizes, but she sees that his sneakers and socks are still beside the chair and his t-shirt is thrown across it. Only his jeans are missing. She doesn't hear shower sounds, so he must have gone downstairs.

She sits up in bed and considers the way she felt in that first instant when she saw that he was gone. Disappointed, she realizes, but also resigned—it is what she expects; eventually he will leave. And they will go back to the non-relationship they have at the SGC. No—it is a relationship, just not the one she wants. Not the _only_ one she wants. Because he is the best Commanding Officer that she can imagine—she fully appreciates the qualities that make him just that, and she loves that he is _her_ CO. But she wants the other, too. She wants him in bed every night, she wants his kisses and his touch and his words whispered in her ear…

"Argh…" she exclaims, in a perfect imitation of Jack, shaking her head and putting her face in her hands. _I will not cry! Not now! He's not even gone! _ But a tear slips down her cheek. Angrily, she dashes it away, and gets out of bed in a huff, goes to her closet and pulls out her robe, wraps it around herself and heads for the bathroom.

When she gets downstairs, hair wet from the shower, dressed in lounge pants and t-shirt, she finds the kitchen cleaned up, coffee made and Jack standing at the glass doors staring out at her back yard, a cup in his hand. Her morning paper is spread out on the kitchen table; he has been doing the crossword. He turns around and smiles at her, a smile that engages every bit of his face and tells her plainly how glad he is to see her. "Mornin', Sexy." His voice is a rough purr.

She blushes and heads for the coffee. "Morning yourself. You cleaned the kitchen_._ And fed the cat. Thank you."

"Well, I helped make the mess," he says. "And Puss already thanked me." The cat is in fact at this moment winding herself back and forth around his legs. He bends down and scratches under her chin. "What's her name, anyway?"

"Gretel. Her name is Gretel." She sips her coffee.

"Nice name." Jack walks over and sets his cup on the counter, then reaches out and strokes her cheek. "Good morning, beautiful," he whispers, then leans down and brushes her lips gently with his.

She puts her own cup beside his, and with a tiny whimper, moves into his arms, burying her face in his shoulder, holding on tight.

"Hey," he says, startled. "What's the matter?"

She shakes her head. "Nothing." Her voice is muffled against his chest. "I thought...maybe you'd left."

He pushes her away a little and takes her face in his hands and stares into her eyes. "Not. On. Your. Life." he says very slowly and clearly. He kisses her then until he begins to hear that little hum, and they both have to lean against the counter to keep their balance.

"I don't think there's much food left in the house," she says apologetically, a while later.

"Okay. So let's get dressed and go out to eat. I know a great little diner, over near the park, where you can get breakfast all day."

He has to shower first, of course, and dress, but that is exactly what they end up doing. They eat pancakes and sausage and eggs, and drink more coffee. They discover that it is Thursday, September 14, and are a little embarrassed to admit they did not know.

"So we've still got until the middle of next week before General Hammond expects us back at work," Jack observes. "What would you like to do?"

She looks at him in surprise. "Well, I brought some files home…"

"Not work, Carter," he cuts in. "Something fun, relaxing. Wanna go to my cabin? We can go fishing."

She hesitates. "It's a long way, sir."

He waves a dismissive hand. "If we leave in the next hour, we can be there by three a.m. I drive it several times a year. Once we hit the interstates, it's smooth sailing."

She looks into his brown eyes—his expression is so hopeful—and suddenly something in her really wants to say yes. Slowly, she begins to nod. "Okay, sir."

"Okay?" he repeats, as if he can't believe what she's saying. His face lights up with a smile. "_Okay!_ Sweet!"

She grins at his happiness. "Yes, sir."

"Finish your breakfast, Carter, and let's get going!" he says. "And Carter, please lose the 'sir.' You were calling me Jack… before."

"Okay… but, you're still calling me Carter, s…Jack."

"At least Carter's part of your name, but mine is definitely not 'sir.'" He pauses and looks in her eyes, and his expression softens. "Sam."

It is actually closer to two hours before they get on their way. There's the matter of packing a few clothes, and getting some food to take along, and Sam has to make arrangements for her neighbor to take care of Gretel. And their houses are some distance apart, so getting both of them ready requires a bit of hopping around. Sam says they should let someone know where they're going—Daniel, maybe; he's left several messages on each of their phones in the past couple of days. She's surprised he hasn't arrived at the door! Jack says a call to Daniel can wait until they're on the road. So around half past two, they are headed north in Jack's truck to pick up the east bound interstate. It is about three hours later, as they are entering Nebraska, that Sam remembers they were supposed to go in to see Janet on Tuesday.

"Give her a call and tell her we'll see her next week," Jack says with a shrug. "Hammond said get off the base and we're going."

She deliberately calls Janet's home number and leaves a message on her voice mail.

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	8. Chapter 8

**25**

It is nearly 6:45 in the morning when Jack pulls the truck into the driveway of his cabin. The sky is bright, with the full moon descending in the west and the eastern horizon lightening with sunrise. Sam is sleeping beside him in the passenger seat. He yawns and stretches, reaches over and shakes her arm gently. "Wake up, Sam. We're here."

"Mmmm…" She opens her eyes and looks around, straightens up. "We're here."

"Hey, that's just what I said," he laughs.

He unlocks the door, and they bring in the bags, and the carton of food. It's chilly, but he's heard on the radio that daytime temperatures have been in the high 70s, and the weekend is expected to be clear and breezy. He plugs in the refrigerator, and says anything else can wait a few hours. He pulls a double size sleeping bag from a closet and throws it on the bed, and within fifteen minutes they have crawled in and are snuggling to keep each other warm.

A few hours later he wakes to her fingers stroking him, and her kisses wandering across his belly. She is naked, and he quickly sheds his briefs, and reaches for the tender parts of her body. Her breath hisses raggedly in his ears as he brings her along with his touch, and at the last moment, unable to contain himself, thrusts into her heat, and they shatter together into a long fall of glittering pleasure.

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The sun is well past noon when Jack comes awake again. He stretches luxuriously, then climbs out of bed and heads into the bathroom for a five-minute shower. Afterward he dresses and then goes to start setting things right in the cabin. There really isn't a lot to do now that the power lines have finally been run out this far. It's more convenient than the generator used to be, but it also takes away some of the sense of remoteness. He puts away the food—a trip into town for milk and other perishables is in order—sets the suitcases in the bedroom, and pushes open the sliding door to step out on the deck. It is warm, so he leaves the door open. He walks down the slope to the dock and smiles as he looks out over the small lake. After a bit he turns and walks around the house, just checking things out. Everything seems to be as he left it.

Sam is just coming out of the bedroom as he enters the cabin again. She's wearing a t-shirt and panties and her hair is tousled, and she looks delicious.

She comes over and puts her arms around his neck and kisses him deeply. He returns the kiss with interest, and they stand there for several minutes making like hormonal teenagers. "You are so beautiful," he whispers, taking her face in his hands.

"Hmm… sure, right out of bed. Where are your glasses, old man?" she teases.

"Ha ha ha," he tells her. "Just for that you can make your own coffee!"

"Where's the coffee maker?"

He digs the old aluminum percolator out of the cupboard, and she stares at it in disbelief. "What is _that?_"

"That's how real Minnesotans make coffee," he says with a smirk. He pulls down the sealed coffee tin from the shelf, and hands it to her. "Have at it."

"I have no idea how to use one of these things," she protests, shoving the pot and tin back at him. "You'll have to do it."

"Take back that glasses crack, or no can do."

"I take it back—I do," she says, laughing. "Now just make the coffee."

He leans over and kisses her again, long and thoroughly, then washes the pot and proceeds to set it up, as she watches him closely. Turning on the gas, he sets it on the burner. "You have to keep your eye on it," he cautions. So they watch for several minutes, and he turns down the heat at the first liquid bounce, and then the coffee perks along cheerfully.

"Time for breakfast," Jack says.

"What're we having?" she asks warily.

"Oatmeal. With maple syrup."

The oatmeal is ready in fifteen minutes, with maple syrup and raisins, and she has to admit that it really hits the spot. They sit on the edge of the deck and eat it, and drink their coffee, which turns out surprisingly good. When she's done she lies back on the warm wood and stretches her arms over her head.

"It is so quiet and peaceful here," she says, "almost like…" She stops and looks up at him.

"Yeah. Like the paradise planet," he says. "There's no Goa'uld junk here, though. Anything we do here, we do with full knowledge aforethought." His eyes are on hers as he says it. "Like this." He leans down, bracing on his elbow, and kisses her. "Aforethought..." he murmurs against her lips. "I think about you all the time..." His lips turn very soft and work their way over her mouth, molding to every curve, his tongue tasting the sensitive inner edges as her lips part to welcome him. He catches her lower lip lightly between his teeth and sucks on it gently, drawing back a little so he can just see her eyes, which are heavy-lidded and slightly unfocused.

She reaches up and cups his face with both hands, caresses his three-day beard with her thumbs, and groans helplessly as he deepens the kiss once more and trails his fingers down over her belly to pull down the top elastic of her panties...

After that they spend the rest of the day lazing around the cabin, doing nothing at all except being together. They take a couple of naps, and eventually make up the bed properly. Included in the food they brought along are sandwich makings, and cookies, and they eat when they get hungry.

At sunset, they walk down to the lake and sit on the dock, swinging their feet in the chilly water. This reminds them of the paradise planet, and they both glance up at the sky; but instead of the runaway star, there is the full moon, just rising huge above the eastern horizon.

Bedtime comes early, and they crawl into the freshly made bed, cuddle for a while—which inevitably leads to other activities—and are sound asleep by ten.

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"We need to make a trip to the store for milk and eggs and so forth," Jack tells her the next morning after breakfast. They are out of bed early, refreshed, and more energetic than the day before.

The town is only about eight miles away—five of which are on the dirt track that leads to the cabin. There's a gas station, a grocery store, and a few other small businesses. At the grocery store Jack is greeted cheerfully by the middle-aged couple who own the place. He introduces Sam to Stan and Rhonda Garry, and they welcome her to Sunset Crossing.

"That's the name of the town?" she asks.

"It's not really a town," Stan Garry tells her. "Not incorporated. It's been here a long time, though. A couple hundred of us live around here and call it home."

"A couple of hundred?" She has seen maybe four or five houses. "Sorry. It's just that there aren't many houses."

"Back in the woods, most of them, like Jack's place. You'd be surprised."

The store is extremely well-stocked for its size, there is even a butcher's counter in the back, and Jack spends several minutes picking out a nice piece of sirloin. "Gonna make you the best beef stew you've ever had," he tells Sam, as Rhonda is wrapping the meat. He picks up potatoes, carrots, onions, celery, a small yellow turnip, a couple of parsnips, garlic, and a bag of barley.

She stares at his collection with wide eyes. "How many people are you feeding?"

He just laughs. Piling his purchases on the counter, he adds a large can of diced tomatoes, milk, bread, cheese, cereal—there seems to be no end to the things he thinks they need! There are fresh tomatoes in a nearby rack. "Local?" he asks Rhonda.

She nods. "I expect they'll be the last ones this season."

Jack picks out four of the biggest ones. Sam is shaking her head. "Don't fret," he tells her. "The stew will feed us for a couple of days. But you'll be amazed how hungry you get up here."

"Fret? _Fret?_" she echoes, staring at him. He laughs at her again.

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	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you so much to all the reviewers!**

**This was supposed to be part of the last chapter, but it needed some tweaking, and got longer.**

**26**

Early in the afternoon Jack pulls out a large cast iron Dutch oven and sets about preparing the stew. He puts Sam to work cutting up vegetables, while he cubes the beef and browns it in the pot. The vegetables all go in with the beef, except for the potatoes—you add them near the end, he explains, or they turn to mush—then barley, the can of tomatoes, some rosemary and thyme and a dash of something he won't identify for her, a half cup of red wine, garlic, salt and pepper and water. He seals the pot and puts it in the oven on low heat. You cook it about five hours, he says, then you add potatoes and cook until they are done.

By now it is well past noontime, and they eat grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. Despite their energy earlier, they're both sleepy, so they decide a nap is in order; after making love, they sleep soundly. When they wake up it is late afternoon, and the house is filled with the delicious smell of the stew.

Jack checks the oven and adds some water to the pot. Then he produces a bottle of whiskey from a cupboard. Even Sam recognizes the name on the label, and she is no connoisseur of whiskeys.

"This is the really good stuff," Jack says, pouring a little into a glass and handing it to her. "Taste it."

She is surprised how smoothly it goes down, and she accepts the glass of whiskey with water and ice that he fixes for her. They lie down in lounge chairs on the deck and sip the drinks. Half an hour later he gets up and goes in to put the potatoes into the stew; he chops up the tomatoes and leaves them in a bowl to add when it is ready to eat. He has a whiskey while he works, then brings another out for both of them when he comes back. She smiles an extremely sexy smile at him, and he joins her in her chair and they find it is possible to very much enjoy each other even in such cramped quarters. Afterward, they relax and finish their drinks. The sun sinks toward the horizon, and it grows chilly. Sam shivers and cuddles closer to him, and Jack suggests that they go inside. He gathers kindling and papers to build a fire if they need it later.

They settle down on the couch, and make out again for a while, which leaves both of them breathless. Jack gets up and turns off the oven—the stew is done, he says, and will stay hot until they are hungry. He pours himself another drink; she declines. He builds a fire in the fireplace, and they sit and talk of inconsequential things for while and eventually fall silent.

Jack is remembering what he was thinking about as he was cleaning up Carter's kitchen two mornings ago. The realization of how he feels about her. And the question he asked himself then; how much is he willing to give up to have Sam permanently in his life? Today the answer seems easy; _anything_. After all, what does he have beyond his career in the military? A career that has gotten him _what?_ Months at a time spent away from home; severe injuries on several occasions; capture and torture; a failed marriage; Charlie... he can't go any further with that thought, and takes another large gulp of his whiskey. Forces his mind away. The stargate, and SG-1. Those things are harder to consider giving up. But Daniel and Teal'c will always be his friends. So...the stargate. That will be the most difficult. But he knows he will lose that before too many more years, no matter what. The chronic knee problems; his age and all the things that go with it—slowing reflexes, poorer eyesight, and who knows what else (and somewhere in there pops up the small nagging thought that maybe he is too old for Sam, but he pushes that aside). Within five years those things will sideline him anyway. Even worse, he will probably be promoted, and shoved into a desk job!

Yes, he feels that his career is expendable. He can resign; he has served more than the required years—even for retirement, he only needs twenty.

How should he approach the subject with Sam, though? He knows she will object to his resigning. And how does he know she would even want him if he did? Perhaps all she needs from him is the 'carrot' of a relationship—something just out of reach to fantasize about. If that is the case, he does not really blame her—and his thought comes back to the difference in their ages. And the fact that she is fantastically smart, and incredibly gorgeous...

He sighs and rubs the back of his neck, reaches for his glass.

Despite the relaxing half-haze from the whiskey, Sam has noticed that Jack's mood has changed in the past little while. His expression has grown thoughtful, almost worried. He fidgets, gets up and moves around, comes back to the couch and sits down at the far end, and she wonders what is bothering him. He is clearly nervous about something, and this sets off her alarms; she thought things were going so well between them...

He finishes his drink and finally begins in a rush. "We need to talk, Carter…Sam. About what happened—the planet and the dreams and the rest of it. And I apologize in advance, cause I don't do 'talk' so well, you know that, and I know I'm gonna botch it up so please be patient and don't make up your mind until I'm finished. Please." This rather incoherent outburst has her staring at him with wide eyes, confused and apprehensive. He sees this and curses, throwing his hands up in the air. "Crap! See, I've already screwed it up, and…and I haven't even started yet! Dammit Carter! Don't look so scared!"

He slides over toward her. "Come here." She turns to him and he puts his arms around her, enfolding her, leaning in to hold her tight; she has the feeling he is seeking some comfort from her as well as trying to give it, so she slips her arms around him and pulls him in close.

God! She feels so good in his arms! And what small plan he had for approaching this subject is forgotten. He turns his face into her hair, and his mouth is near her ear; he kisses her hair, and her ear and whispers, "You know you're the most important thing in my life, don't you, Sam? I love you so much…"

She hangs on to him for dear life, hardly able to believe what she has just heard; she gives a big gulp, and tears fill her eyes, and start to run down her cheeks. "I… I love you, too, Jack… more than anything…" Her voice is hoarse and muffled against his shoulder, and she's afraid he can't even hear her.

"Oh my God—are you crying, Carter? Please, don't be crying! I don't want to make you cry…" His voice sounds like he is close to weeping himself; he must have had quite a bit more to drink than she realized because he is slurring in his agitation as he kisses her forehead and her eyes and tries to wipe her tears away with his hands. "C'mon… please stop," he begs. "I shouldn't'a carried on like that. I'm sorry, Sam… I didn't mean to scare you."

Now she's laughing and crying at the same time, trying to make him hush. "Jack… Jack! Shh!" But he's not hearing her, and finally she takes his face in her hands and kisses him hard, completely claiming his mouth with hers and cutting off his words. He is silenced by sheer surprise, and it is a moment before he starts to respond, and even then he stares down into her face, eyes wide.

After a minute Sam pulls back reluctantly and smiles into his eyes. "I love _you_, too, Jack. Do you hear me? I love you! And I'm not crying because you scared me. I could never be afraid of you! I'm crying because _you said you love me_!" She sobs once and smiles wider. "_We_ finally said it! Not in some kind of crazy dream, but here, face to face!"

He looks stunned, then ecstatic. His voice drops low as he speaks. "Are you _sure_ I'm not dreamin' now, Sam…?" xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


	10. Chapter 10

**27**

"What did you want to tell me before?" Sam asks. She smiles. "Was it that you love me?" It is over an hour later, and they have eaten some of Jack's delicious stew and cuddled some more—this is getting decadent! she thinks happily—and are relaxing naked (almost dissolute!) on the couch, under a light blanket. Jack is stretched out, with pillows behind him, and Sam is lying beside him, pillowed comfortably on his chest. The only light in the room is the flickering of the fire, and a faint glow from a small bulb in the kitchen. She reaches up and nuzzles his jaw as she is talking.

He bends his head, searching for her mouth, and kisses her softly, and for so long that she begins to lose her concentration, and is really not much interested in the answer to her question any more. When the kiss ends she settles in deeper under his chin, and rubs her cheek against his chest. When he speaks it takes her a moment to connect the dots in her mind.

"Well, what I wanted to say wasn't exactly that—I mean, 'course I wanted to say_ that_, I've wanted to say it for years, but not just then because I thought it wasn't the time, but I guess it really was, wasn't it, because I did, and I'm glad, and 'specially 'cause you said it, 'cause if I'd tried to plan that out I'd've prob'ly botched it up every which way..."

"Okaaay…" she says, trying to work out where the subject and verb in that sentence are hiding, and wondering just how drunk he is. "Just how much of that whiskey have you had?" she finally asks.

"What? Oh, enough… uh, not since we ate. I'm not sober, I know… But tha's your fault!"

She pulls back and looks at him. "Exactly how is that my fault? _Sir!"_

"It's your fault 'cause you got me drunk on love." He gives her a lopsided grin. "And that's Sir_ Jack _t'you!" Then he laughs at her expression and raises himself on one elbow above her and leans down and kisses her until she is breathless and making those tiny little sounds in her throat that he loves so much.

Avoiding, she thinks through the flood of sensations; he's avoiding the question. Typical Jack. He always avoids what he really doesn't want to talk about. Always has a distraction in reserve to bring up—oh, and this is one heck of a distraction, she admits, as he deepens the kiss and brings his tongue into play; she's not able to think much further as he strokes a hand up from her hip across her bare belly and cups her breast, rolling the nipple gently between thumb and finger. She may never find out what it was he wanted to say and right at the moment she doesn't care, but only wants what he seems perfectly willing to give.

The kiss goes on and on, and she feels herself sinking helplessly deeper and deeper under the spell of excitement that it brings. Jack presses her nipple more firmly, causing sharp frissons of pleasure to shoot through her body, deep into her core, and she groans against his mouth, opening her lips wider to accept his kiss more deeply. His own growl answers hers, as he releases her breast and, shoving the blanket aside, slides his hand down to stroke her belly, slowly, sensuously, and he moves his mouth across her cheek and down to her throat, leaving a trail of sweet kisses in its wake.

Her hands are spread against his chest, against the coarse hair and hard muscles, against the erect nipples; her stroking fingers bring a grunt from his throat. He pushes her hand aside so he can bury his face between her breasts, kissing and tasting his way to first one inviting bud and then the other. He feels her trembling, groaning jerkily, as he takes his time savoring the flavor of her skin, licking and sucking until she is straining toward him, and saying his name over and over.

He slides his hand slowly down her belly, over her hip, and grasps the curve of her buttock, enjoying the perfect shape of it, pulling her closer. His hand slips along her thigh, finding the soft inner flesh, exploring, kneading and stroking sweet sensitive nerve endings until she is panting and begging. "Jack—please! ..._please!_"

The length of his erection is pressing firmly against her thigh, and she pushes her hand in between their bodies and closes her fingers around him, feels the hardening and faint throb that tells her he is almost at the limit of control. The excitement translates up her arm and suffuses her entire body, and she knows she has nowhere else to go, but up... "Now Jack! _Now now now now..._" as she strokes him firmly. He pulls her leg across his hip and slides into her welcoming warmth, fast and hard, again and again...

The torrential surge of pleasure obliterates his thoughts and senses; somewhere in the distance he hears her shriek of release; and the repercussions go on and on, until they vanish into the darkness.

xxx

He awakens slowly, stiffly. His back is crammed against the back of the couch, and Carter is attached to his front like a barnacle. By the feel of air on the parts of him that are exposed, he can tell that the room has grown chilly. The fire has died down to a glow, and through the window he can see that the moon has climbed much higher in the sky, telling him it is around midnight. The fact that he actually sees two moons tells him that he is still somewhat drunk. Well, he did enjoy quite a lot of that excellent whiskey! And he's happy to note that he does not feel any other unpleasant physiological effects of the alcohol. He is usually able to throw off such side-effects quickly anyway, but if you're gonna drink, drink the best!

He's pretty comfortable the way he is, but he thinks Sam must be cold with her entire back—(and back-side; he is momentarily distracted thinking about Sam's...hmmm!)—exposed like that. So he decides he really should make an effort to find the blanket and maybe build up the fire, or even get them into the bedroom, where they can both be warm. He tries for a few minutes to unglue her skin from his, but each time he frees a few square inches, she shifts and mutters and tightens her grip. After a while, he's tempted to abandon the effort, but when he touches her back, he finds it is really quite chilled. So he decides to try a new tack; wrapping his arms around her, he shifts and twists so she is on top of him, and then rolls her over to the inside of the couch, where she nestles down into the warm place that he just left. This, of course, leaves his own rear exposed to the chill, but also makes it possible for him to get up to find blankets and rekindle the fire.

When he attempts to rise to do these things, however, Sam's arms clamp tightly around his torso, and a tiny sound, like a chuckle, emerges from her throat. "That was a nice maneuver," she says, wrapping a leg around his hips. "I liked that."

"You stinker," Jack grouses, smiling. "You've been awake the whole time."

"Mmmm... Pretty much," she admits, rubbing her thigh up and down his lower belly—causing something else to happen.

His is shocked that he has enough energy left to react, but within a few moments he is no longer feeling the cold. This time it is slow and sweet and easy. He can see her face in the moonlight, and he watches her expression change, her lips fall open and her eyes lose focus, and he is content to take his pleasure from seeing hers.

Afterward she is limp and relaxed and makes no protest when he rises, finds the blanket on the floor and tucks it around her.

"Come back soon," she murmurs.

"As soon as I get the fire going again," he promises.

By the time he does that, and retrieves more blankets from the bedroom, she is asleep, but she cuddles into his embrace when he lies back down. He kisses her cheek softly. "God! I love you," he whispers softly, and within a few minutes, he also drifts off to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**This chapter is for Tel Nok Shock—a very faithful reader! Wishing you a very Happy (belated) Birthday! Thanks for all the encouragement!**

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Jack wakes with the sun in his face. He squints his eyes and peers upward. Skylights are great—except when they're blinding you! And if the sun is that high, then it must be pretty late. He stretches stiffly; sleeping on the couch may not have been his best idea ever, not enough room...

Oh—Carter is gone, he realizes suddenly. How'd she manage to climb over him without waking him up? And is that coffee he can smell? Did she really tackle the old percolator!?

Slowly he hauls himself upright. His back gives a twinge. Crap! No more nights on the couch! He puts his feet on the floor.

"Hey, sleepyhead," Sam says from the door onto the deck.

He twists around to look at her. She is leaning against the edge of the door, dressed in shorts and tank top, her hair a golden halo in the light behind her. There is a coffee mug in her hand.

"Hey, yourself," he replies. "What time is it? How long have you been up?"

"Ten forty-five, and about an hour and a half, in that order." She pushes off from the door and comes over in front of the couch so he is able to untwist. "Want some coffee?"

"I think I need a shower first." He presses the heels of his hands to his temples and closes his eyes.

"Headache?" she asks sympathetically.

"Not as much as I probably deserve," he admits. "But my back is killing me. What the hell possessed us to spend the night on this couch?"

"Huh!" she says, with an O'Neill-like smirk. "I don't know—what could _possibly_ have gotten into us?"

He raises an eyebrow at her, and she laughs, sets her cup down and sits on his lap, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He buries his face in her neck, and breathes in her scent of soap and lemon shampoo. "God, you smell good, woman." He kisses her shoulder and nuzzles her neck, and then straightens. "But I'll bet I don't. So, let me shower, and we can go from there."

"Okay." She kisses him, and then stands.

He tries not to wince as he gets to his feet, hating to admit that the only thing he really wants right now is the hot water beating on his back. "The coffee smells good. I knew you could conquer the percolator."

"This is the second pot," she admits. "The first was a disaster. How does Daniel manage it over a campfire?"

"Getting it right in only two tries is very good. And Daniel's craving for coffee is a powerful motivator." He takes a step away from the couch and grunts as his knee announces its discomfort.

"What?" she asks.

"Nothing," he assures her quickly. "Goin' to the shower now." He heads down the hall, forcing himself to walk normally, hoping she does not notice.

Of course she does notice, since normally he would want coffee before anything else, and she promises herself that she will not allow them to sleep on the couch again. "Shall I make you some oatmeal, or start some eggs?" she calls after him.

"Not yet. It can wait until I get done in the shower," he answers, planning to stay there for a while. He stands under the hot water until the temperature starts to cool a bit, and then reluctantly washes quickly and gets out; he doesn't want to run the hot water completely down, it will take the heater too long to recover. He stares at his face in the mirror as he shaves, thinking he looks every day of his forty-eight years, plus a few. He can blame some of that on the hangover—even if he does not _feel_ all that bad, his body knows and reacts to the excessive amount of alcohol he consumed. His face is drawn and his eyes don't look so great. Dehydration, he thinks, and drinks about a quart of water by dipping his palm under the faucet. At least his back feels better and his knee has loosened up. He brushes his teeth, and heads into the bedroom to find clothes.

Sam is in the kitchen, mixing something vigorously, when Jack emerges in gray Air Force T-shirt and running shorts. There is a fresh pot of coffee perking happily on the stove. He pours himself a cup and takes a swallow. "What'cha making?"

"Pancakes. I had an overwhelming hunger for them a little while ago."

"Ever made 'em before?" he asks with a grin.

"Uh... no. I found a recipe in your cookbook. These are my first."

"I figured." He can't hold back a chuckle. "Stop beating the batter. You want the lumps in there. Makes 'em lighter."

"Oh." She stops immediately. "I hope I haven't ruined them!"

"They'll be fine." He puts his cup down, then takes the mixing bowl from her hands and sets it on the counter. Pulling her into his arms, he kisses her thoroughly. "Looks like I'll have to be the cook in the house," he says into her hair.

The pancakes come out a little flat, but butter and maple syrup can make almost anything taste good. "Sorry," she pulls a face. "I'll know better next time."

"Don't sweat the small stuff," he says. He's not about to get picky about something as minor as her cooking! Especially when there are pizza parlors and Asian take-out restaurants on every corner—even in Minnesota! "Coffee outside?" he suggests.

They find a shady spot level enough to set up the lawn chairs on the bank of the lake. They watch the water; even without fish, there is activity—water striders glide across the surface on long legs, dragonflies and crane flies zip in and out of the weeds on the far side, a bullfrog bellows his two-part call, although they can't locate him among the tall grasses.

A male wood duck, its iridescent green crest and variegated plumage reflecting the sunlight, is floating placidly in the water near the forested side of the lake; his mate, her duller coloring making her less obvious to predators, is browsing the bank beyond him. After a while a half dozen more woodys emerge from the brush, two drakes and four hens; the family, presumably—young, but all fully feathered.

"Looks like this year's youngsters are all grown up." Jack explains that the wooden box about six feet up on a pole near the edge of the lake is a nest box. "The Wood Duck Society gives classes where kids can learn to build them. Stan Garry's grandson made them last year."

"Nice," Sam comments. "What's that umbrella thingy under the box?"

"Predator cone. Keeps critters from climbing up there. Still the survival rate isn't all that good. This hatch probably started out with 12 or 14 ducklings."

The rest of the woodys have come down into the water, and are dipping for food. Sam and Jack watch them silently.

After a while Sam glances over at Jack and notices that he is wearing much the same abstracted expression he had yesterday before his outburst.

"What are you thinking about?" she asks.

He turns his head to look at her and gives a small smile. "Ducks. Water. Trees." He pauses and eyes her expression. "Not buyin' it, huh?" She shrugs. "Okay," he says. "How about— You. Us. Our future."

Her brows go up. "_Our future?_"

He blinks. "You sound surprised." Mentally he shies off onto another tack. "_You know_... what're we gonna do _this afternoon! _I think I saw a poster in the store yesterday for a balloon festival over in Clearwater State Park this weekend. Whaddya think about a balloon ride?"

Sam silently kicks herself. _Stupid!_ "I don't want to go on a balloon ride, Jack," she says after a moment.

"No?"

"No. I want to hear what you are _really_ thinking. Especially if it's about us."

Across the lake, the ducks are suddenly stirred up by something. They settle slowly, and Jack scans the area, finding nothing disturbing. He turns back toward Sam, and takes a few moments to reposition his chair so he can see her better. "Okay. I'm thinking that there's no way in hell I'm going to give this up—what we have right now, together."

"Jack..."

"I'm serious. I'm not going back to protocol and regulations! Not gonna happen." He pauses a second to see how she is taking this, and is encouraged by the fact that she is looking him straight in the eye, and there may even be a faint smile around her lips. He takes a deep breath. "So, having said that, the only thing left is to decide how to make it happen."


	12. Chapter 12

I apologize for the long delay in posting. We've spent a lot of time lately getting the gardens ready, and planting. Not done yet, but we've had days of heavy rain, which kind of slows us down.

Hope you enjoy.

_Just to catch up:_

_It's Sam and Jack's third day at the cabin; they've had breakfast (Sam made pancakes), and are sitting out by the lake watching the wood ducks and talking._

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**28**

"I am really sorry, Sam," Jack says. "I had way too much to drink yesterday… I apologize if I said anything out of line."

"Nothing out of line," she assures him, smiling. "If you were, then so was I." She is thinking that if he hadn't been drunk he wouldn't have said he loved her.

He must be reading her mind. "That's called Dutch courage, y'know." He grins.

"I have heard that phrase," she says. "I don't know the origin, but I get it."

"Thirty Years' War," he informs her. "English soldiers drank Dutch gin before they went into battle. They're the ones called it Dutch courage." **(see end note)**

"Now, how would you know that?!"

"It popped up in a military history class at the Academy. One of those odd little factoids that stick in the brain, and never go away." He stretches his arms above his head and yawns. "We still have to look up where 'woolgathering' came from, though. Wanna bet it's something to do with sheep?"

"Sorry—I didn't bring my laptop."

"Thank God!"

They both laugh lightly and then grow silent. It is an easy, pleasant silence—neither feels the need to break it for several minutes. Sam takes a sip of her coffee and allows herself to simply look at Jack, who has closed his eyes and appears perfectly relaxed in the lawn chair. His face falls into softer lines, appearing younger, and making him even more handsome. He is perfect, she thinks, and he is hers, actually _hers! _She studies each feature, enjoying the way just watching him makes her feel.

"You're burnin' a hole in my skin, Carter," he says eventually, without opening his eyes.

She giggles. _Should have known his soldier's instincts would have told him he was being watched._ "Sorry, sir."

The brown eyes pop open—his most beautiful feature! "What! I thought we settled that."

"Sorry, _Jack._" She frowns. "Hey, what am I sorry for, anyway?"

He chuckles and gets to his feet. "Want some more coffee? Gimme your cup and I'll get us some."

He is gone only a few minutes, but when he returns and hands her the coffee his demeanor has changed; he looks grim and worried. Sitting down he glances out over the lake, where the woodys are still browsing. "A lot of the time I feel as if the dreams aren't over," he says, sounding very serious. "It's like they're overlapping with reality. Sometimes I look at you and I think _Thera_, before I remember…"

She takes a moment to digest the change of mood before she answers. "I know. I feel it, too. Whatever effect that device had on us isn't gone yet." She gives him a thoughtful look. "Also, nobody considered that the mind-stamp might have after-effects. We remembered who we really were, and that seemed to be the end of it."

"So you think it's the stamp thingy, too? Not just the device on the planet?"

"It has to be. The dreams were just... too vivid."

"Sam, did you have dreams like that before... I mean before we went to the paradise planet? Because... well, I did. Pretty regularly since we were trapped on 118... I've thought about it a lot, actually."

"Yeah, me, too," she says. "I had dreams before. They were nowhere near as intense as these, though. That's why I think part of it has to be the Goa'uld device—it's enhancing our memories and the dreams." She is briefly silent. "Maybe I'll give Janet a call later, and see if she's found anything that might explain help it. What day is it anyway?"

He thinks about it a moment. "Sunday? I remember noticing the calendar in the store yesterday—that was yesterday, right?—it said Saturday."

"Yesterday, yes," she confirms.

He is silent for a few more minutes, considering what he wants to say next. Finally he just sort of blurts it out.

"I'm a lot older than you, Sam. Sixteen years is practically another generation."

She frowns, sitting forward in her chair, surprised at the abrupt change of subject and not liking this one at all. "It is not! And it doesn't matter—you know that. I love _you,_ not your birth date!"

He smiles. "I do know that. But that's not why I'm bringing it up. Let me finish. Please."

"Okay." She nods reluctantly, settles back in her chair, and takes another sip of her coffee. "Go ahead. I'll try not to interrupt again."

"Operative word there being 'try'?"

She shrugs. "I'm not perfect."

"Sure you are. But that's another discussion," he adds when she opens her mouth. She gives a sigh and subsides, and he continues. "I'm almost 48 years old. And you'll be only 32 in December. Those sixteen years put us at very different places in our lives, and our careers. I've been in the Air Force nearly thirty years—almost as long as you've been alive—close your mouth Carter! Stop trying to interrupt!" She obeys, but makes a face at him, and he smiles. "Anyway, what I'm saying is I've been at this a long time, and have probably gone as far as I can go. The SGC is a great assignment, the best I've ever had, but it's hard, and I _am_ one of the oldest guys there, and my knees aren't going to hold out forever. You, on the other hand, are just getting started. You've got a brilliant career ahead of you in the Air Force. You're so smart, and such a good soldier, that you'll be able to write your own ticket. I won't be surprised to see stars on your shoulders in another ten or fifteen years, and you'd be a great CO for the SGC, if that's what you want. By then, of course, I'll be outta the picture. Retired, probably living up here, fishing and growing old. Or worse, stuck behind a desk somewhere."

"Jack...!" she begins.

"Not done yet, Carter! This is about us being at opposite ends of the career track. This kind of job belongs to young people..."

"Okay! Enough about your age," she cuts in, trying not to be irritated. "Get to the point, for crying out loud!"

His mouth quirks at her use of his favorite phrase, then he sobers. "My _point_ is the thing I said to start with; I'm not going to give you up—I'm not giving _us_ up. I'll retire or resign."

She is shocked. Her mouth opens to protest, but no words will come out. For several long moments they stare at each other.

Finally he continues. "I have to know how you feel, though..."

"I don't... You're too valuable—you can't resign..."

"That's not what I'm asking! How do you feel about you and me? Do you want _us_ as much as I do?"

"Yes, I do," she says immediately. "I love you. I want to be with you—more than anything. But..."

"Stop! That's all I need to hear..." He gets to his feet, reaches for her hand, and pulls her up into his arms.

The kiss takes her breath away, and they are completely involved in the embrace for long minutes; his mouth is gentle and worshipful, and so giving that she feels privileged to be the recipient of such love, and she draws his body even closer in an attempt to return his adoration. When their lips part, they remain standing in each other's arms for a long time; she has never felt so loved and wanted and so at peace.

So it is with a certain amount of guilt that she pulls back and looks up into his eyes. "They won't let you resign, Jack," she says softly.

He takes a deep breath, and lets it out, "Ahh, Carter..." and drops his head forward until his forehead touches hers.

"Besides," she continues, "Maybe there's another solution."

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**29**

"Where are you?" Janet demands over the phone. "Everyone's been wondering about you?"

"We're at Jack's cabin in Minnesota," Sam tells her.

"_We? Jack?_" Janet echoes.

"I'll explain when we get home."

"When will that be?" the doctor wants to know.

"Wednesday, I think. I'll let you know if it's later."

"Okay." If Janet has more questions, she restrains herself. "What did you want to ask me about?"

"The personality stamp that we all got on P3R-118. Do you think there could have been any after-effects? We've had some unusual dreams," Sam admits.

"Well, anything that affects the memory could have potential long-term effects." Janet is cautious. "Daniel and Teal'c haven't reported anything."

"Could the remnants of the stamp and the effects of the Goa'uld device be—I don't know—interacting somehow?" Jack walks past her toward the living room, and she moves to let him by.

Janet is silent as she thinks that over. "That's a rather disturbing thought," she says finally. "Why do you think so?"

"We've both had these dreams about being Thera and Jonah," Sam says without going into detail. "I don't see why that would happen unless the stamp was affected by the Goa'uld device."

"That's even more disturbing," Janet says. "When we brought you home from the planet, your brains scans indicated that you were both dreaming."

"I'd like to see those scans when we get back."

"Of course."

"How is Daniel?" Sam asks. "Any more problems with the allergic reaction? Or other effects that might be from the device? Or the memory stamp?"

"Not that he's mentioned. I will definitely talk to him again, though, Sam. You're making me nervous."

"I'm sorry. I hope it's nothing to worry about. Is there anything particular that _you've_ noticed?"

"I'll recheck the charts and scans," Janet says. "And you can see them when you get home."

"Okay. Thanks a lot, Janet."

"You're welcome. We'll see you Wednesday, then?"

"Yes. We expect to be home Wednesday."

"All right. Good. Take care of yourselves. And call me if you need me."

"We will. 'Bye, Janet." Sam hangs up the phone and sighs. "Well, that wasn't very helpful. All I did was make Janet worry."

Jack doesn't respond and she looks over at him. He is sitting on the couch; his head is down and there is a troubled furrow between his brows.

"Jack?" She sits down on the coffee table in front of him, and puts a hand on his knee. He jumps, startled, and she pulls back quickly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"It's okay. Sam..."

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah…" He rubs a hand across his face and gives her a half-smile. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You had a flashback, didn't you?" she asks. "Of the planet?"

"How did you…?"

"I've had a couple of them myself," she admits. "That's what you meant earlier when you said dream and reality are overlapping?"

He nods. "Yeah. Every now and then I see the runaway star. And the…pretty dolphin." He rolls his eyes and grins.

The grin goes straight to her heart, and she leans over and kisses him. He gathers her in and they fall back on the couch, wrapped in each other's arms.

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**30**

It is sometime later when they get back to the subject of their relationship dilemma. He doesn't like her solution any more than she liked his.

"You'd be giving up your career, Sam! You've worked too hard and you're the best! I can't let you do that."

"You're talking about giving up yours. You've worked just as hard and you're the best. How's this different?"

"Jeez! It's the difference between thirty and fifty! Can't you see that? I've had twenty more years at it than you. You deserve the same. You can accomplish so much!"

She decides to try another angle. "Okay, let's say you resign; what will you do then, Jack?"

He frowns. "I don't see what that has to do with anything. I don't really need to work; I've got quite a lot put aside—all those hazardous duty bonuses—you may be surprised how much I've got invested. No reason I can't just take it easy, stay home, go fishing."

"What? Stay home and be a house-husband?"

He stares at her and slowly a grin splits his face. "Samantha Carter, are you asking me to marry you?"

Her mouth drops open, and sort of hangs there for a beat. "Uh..." she stutters.

He is laughing now. "Because if you are, the answer is definitely yes." And he waits.

"Oh," she says after a minute. And then: _"Oh!"_ She gulps. "Really? You want to marry me?"

"What part of 'not giving you up' didn't you understand, Carter?" he demands incredulously. "Where is that massive intellect when you need it?"

She starts to laugh. "You really want to get married?"

"Course I do, Sam. Where did you think all this was leading?"

"I guess I just hadn't thought that far ahead."

"I don't suppose we have to set a date yet," he says. "But that's the goal. Make no mistake about it."

She slides over closer to him on the couch, and kisses his jaw and cheek, and then he turns his head and she cups her hand on the back of his neck and opens her mouth to his. "I love you," she murmurs a while later.

"I love you, too."

"Getting married won't solve our problem, though," she points out.

"No but it's something to look forward to."

"I still want to know what you'll do after you resign."

"Fish!"

"Seriously. Come on, think about it," she insists. "Suppose you quit. We get married. Then afterwards I go back to work. SG1 gets a new member and we keep going through the stargate. You'll never know where I'm gone, or even when, cause you won't have access anymore." He has started to frown. "How are you going to feel, Jack? Can you let me go on doing that while you sit on the sidelines?"

He doesn't like that. He would never know where she is. What kind of danger she's in... Or whether she's coming back... _God... or what happened if she didn't!_ He won't be able to protect her. That's what scares him the most. He won't be there if she needs him.

"If _I_ leave the Air Force, I'm almost certain they'll hire me as a civilian scientist," she says. "I mean, I've been doing most of the research for the gate for six years now. I may even be able to stay on SG1. Daniel's a civilian. And there are other scientists on teams. At the very least, I'd be on base, and know what's going on. And I can still do my job. Most important—you'll still be there."

"But you'll give up your Air Force career, your advancements..." he protested.

"The science has always been the most important thing to me. I joined the Air Force because of the science programs—the space program specifically. And I've gotten so much more than I expected. The military training has been a plus, but I never really cared about advancing just for its own sake. Frankly, I don't want a Command. I couldn't be a scientist, then. If I have you and I have my research, then I have more than I ever expected." She is looking into his eyes, trying to will him to see her point of view.

He hates that she is making sense. He does not want her to give up anything! She deserves to have it all! But he also doesn't want her going through the gate without him there to watch her back.

"At least let me broach the subject with General Hammond, see what he has to say," she pleads.

"What would you give him as a reason for leaving the Air Force?" Jack asks. "I don't think he'd be too happy with 'Colonel O'Neill and I want to have a relationship-slash-are sleeping together, so can you hire me as a civilian scientist'." His mimicry of her voice makes her laugh.

"I guess he probably wouldn't," she admits. "But it's not like he wouldn't suspect."

"Suspecting, and having it officially down on paper as your reason for quitting are two different things. Senator Kinsey and his crowd will jump all over it as an excuse to give the SGC more grief. You'd need something believable." He gives her a clueless look. "And right now I got nothin'."

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**Note; Dutch courage: this is one of several possible origins I came across for that phrase. Or maybe Jack made it up :) but I liked it best. I doubt it would be in a military history class, tho. **


	13. Chapter 13

**This is a short, short chapter. A 'mood drabble.' The next chapter will be along soon.**

* * *

**31**

Sam and Jack spend the rest of Sunday, and Sunday night just making each other happy. She gives him an incredible massage, one that leaves him moaning and helplessly relaxed. He cooks grilled salmon with citrus salsa and asparagus for dinner, and she swears she'd died and gone to heaven. She reads to him some of her favorite poetry; he brings his telescope out after sunset and they look at the stars. They make love after the massage, and much later on a blanket on the grass in the dark. The water in the little lake is still warm from the sun, so they swim lazily, and lie on their backs and float. Afterwards they stretch out on the blanket and watch the moon, and listen to the night sounds all around them.

They talk quietly, but neither of them mentions the problems that they have yet to solve—_it is enough to have reached a point where a future together seems not only possible, but likely._ The warmth from the day lingers, and it is quite late before the air cools enough to send them inside. He shuts out the lights and takes her hand and leads her into the bedroom. They climb naked into the bed and slip warmly into one another's arms, fall asleep secure and content, and dream sweetly.

Hold fast to dreams  
For if dreams die  
Life is a broken-winged bird  
That cannot fly.

—Langston Hughes

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	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you so much for the great reviews! Especially thanks to those people I can't email directly. I really appreciate that you all took time to read and to comment.**

**This chapter contains spoilers for 'The Serpent's Venom' season 4, although I have tweaked some of the details of that episode. **

**Thank you so much for reading!**

**32**

It is still dark when Jack is jolted awake by a sound that he knows all too well—the particularly obnoxious ring which he has set on his cell phone to announce calls from the SGC's official line. He is bolt upright almost before his eyes are open. Beside him, Sam groans and rolls over. Sleeping more soundly, she is still struggling toward wakefulness after Jack has left the bed and headed for the kitchen, where his phone is on the charger. She tries to shut out the sound, which seems to go on and on long after Jack should have answered. She is just beginning to realize that she is hearing something else, when Jack returns, his phone to his ear, and holding out her ringing one with the other hand. When she doesn't respond immediately, he sets hers on the bed beside her, and retreats back into the hallway. It is another full ring before she manages to pick it up, glance at the caller's name and press the talk button.

"Daniel," she says blearily. "What's up?"

"Not you, I guess," comes the answer.

"Ha. It's still dark. What time is it?"

"Five-forty-five," Daniel replies. "Sorry to wake you like this, but we've got a situation here."

Her eyes snap open, and her brain clicks into gear as she sits up. "What's happening?"

"Jacob arrived back here last night."

"My Dad's there? He said he had Tok'ra business to attend to a zillion lightyears away."

"Apparently he got sidetracked by intel that came in from operatives in Apophis' camp. Pretty important stuff. General Hammond is trying to get hold of Jack right now."

"He got him," Sam murmurs.

"What?"

"Nothing. What's the intel?"

"A meeting between Apophis and Heru'ur. The Tok'ra think Heru'ur is making overtures for an alliance."

"That does not sound good."

"Not at all," he replies. "I know you're on leave, but we need you back here."

"Uh...yeah." She glances up as Jack reenters the bedroom, his expression grim. "The thing is, Daniel, I'm not at home." Jack raises his hand in a 'hold on' gesture. "Just a sec, Daniel." She puts her finger over the tiny mike hole and lifts an eyebrow at Jack.

"Hammond is sending a plane for us," Jack says.

"Daniel," she says into the phone again. "It looks like we can be there in a few hours."

"We..?" Daniel starts to say, then interrupts himself. "Never mind that. There's more."

"What?"

"Teal'c went to Chulak to meet with some of the rebel Jaffa three days ago. He promised to check in every twenty-four hours. We haven't heard from him."

"Not at all?" Sam asks.

"No."

"Okay. We'll talk when we get home." She looks a question at Jack. 'Noon' he mouths. "Probably be there by noon."

"Good. See you then."

"Bye, Daniel."

"Hammond's arranging for an air force jet out of Minneapolis for us," Jack says, as soon as she hangs up. "We're to be at the airfield by nine."

"Did he tell you Teal'c is out of touch on Chulak?" she asks as she is gathering things to shove into her bag.

He nods grimly. "Yeah."

They are dressed, packed and climbing into the truck in twenty minutes. "We left food in the fridge, and a mess in the kitchen," Sam says, as Jack heads down the drive.

"I have neighbors who will take care of it," Jack says. "They've done it before when I had to leave on short notice. I'll call them later."

Jack drives fast once he gets onto the paved roads. Sam watches the forest give way to open farmland. Merging onto the interstate, Jack increases his speed another 10 miles per hour. They are at the airfield with fifteen minutes to spare, and Jack drives directly to the Air Force Reserve hanger. Evidently this kind of thing has happened before, because Jack tosses his keys to a smiling young woman in mechanic's coveralls, who calls him 'Uncle Jack' and promises to take care of the truck until he returns.

The plane is sitting outside the hanger, waiting for them, a C-21A Learjet, USAF passenger transport. They go into the hanger office, where they show their IDs and sign authorization papers. The co-pilot is waiting at attention for them at the plane's door; an Air Force Captain, whose name tag reads L. Harris. He secures the door behind them and directs them toward the seats.

There are two seats facing forward, with a narrow aisle between, and behind them two couches, along the sides of the cabin. Beyond those are two more forward-facing seats.

They sit in the first two seats.

"We're scheduled for take-off in ten minutes, sirs," Captain Harris tells them. "Flying time to Peterson should be two hours and eleven minutes. Your pilot is Major Todd Evans. I'm Captain Lee Harris, your co-pilot."

Jack introduces himself and Carter. "Can we use cell phones?" he asks.

"Once we're in the air, yes, sir. I'll notify you."

"Thanks, Captain."

"You're welcome, sir," Harris salutes and heads into the cockpit.

"This is nice!" Sam says, looking around the cabin. The plane is apparently one used for VIPs; the seats are roomy and comfortable, there is a mini-galley with coffeemaker and microwave up front. "I betcha a general was the last person to sit here."

"I think we're gonna get 'sirred' to death," Jack grouches. He considers setups like this ostentatious, and that makes him uncomfortable. "I shoulda called the mountain again before we got on." He and Carter have spoken to the SGC three times since they left his cabin, Jack's main concern being whether they have had any word from Teal'c. It is worrisome for the Jaffa to be out of touch when he promised to check in regularly.

"It's only been half an hour since you talked to them the last time," Sam points out soothingly. "We'll be there soon."

"I'm surprised Jacob hasn't called you."

"Selmak doesn't like cell phones." She grins.

"What?"

"Apparently there's a subsonic vibration in most of them that sets her teeth on edge."

He laughs. "Seriously?"

"Yep."

That bit of information gives him a few moments of amusement. He leans toward her over the arm of his seat. "These seats aren't close enough together."

"Probably just as well." She gives a half smile and nods toward the cockpit, where the door is open.

"We can move back to the side seats."

"Maybe..." she begins and is interrupted when Captain Harris appears in the cockpit doorway.

"We're going to be moving onto the runway shortly, sirs," Harris says. "Please fasten your seat belts, and keep them on until the red light goes off."

"Thank you, Captain," Sam says, reaching down for her belt buckles. She hears Jack's faint sigh and then the click as he fastens his own belt.

Jack waits until Harris returns to the cockpit, closing the door behind him, then looks over at her again. "There's still time to move back there before the plane gets moving."

She hesitates a moment, then unsnaps her belt and slips quickly onto the couch behind Jack. He grins as he follows her. Once more they fasten themselves in. He leans back and puts his arm along the seat back behind her, his hand on the back of her neck, massaging gently.

"Mmm... That feels good," she murmurs. "Is this really a good idea?"

"It's gonna be our last chance of any sort of privacy for who knows how long, Sam," he says. "But it's your call."

She looks up into his eyes, and after a breath, relaxes back into the curve of his shoulder. He starts to say something, but the whine of the engine suddenly increases, and she cannot hear him. "It's okay," he mouths, and leans over and kisses her, wrapping his other arm around her and drawing her in against his body. They hold each other close as the plane waits its turn for take-off and climbs to cruising altitude, and then they move reluctantly apart.

The flight is uneventful. Jack and Sam return to their original seats and do not talk very much. Best to get used to the military relationship once again. Calls to the SGC still bring no word from Teal'c, and Sam sees Jack's expression grow more worried over the next two hours.

Daniel and a driver meet them at Peterson, and they head directly back to the mountain. If Daniel has questions, he restrains himself, and they are mostly silent on the drive.

Sam and Jack go directly to their quarters and change into BDUs, then head for the conference room, where they are joined shortly by General Hammond, Jacob and Daniel. Jacob gives Sam a questioning look, but there is no time for side conversation; Sam can almost see Selmak directing Jacob to stay on track. They all sit down at the table and listen as Selmak fills them in on the Tok'ra information.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**33 **

An alliance between Apophis and Heru'ur would be disastrous for the galaxy—and that's why, less than twenty hours later they find themselves aboard Jacob's tel'tak, flying through a minefield, with one of the explosive devices looming inside the ring transporter bay. Jack's gut is in knots as he watches Carter and Daniel crawl underneath the blasted thing in an attempt to reprogram it to attack Apophis' mothership. As his two resident geniuses try to figure out the differences between one and two, and orange and blue, Jack is doing his best to find in himself that ability he's always had to set aside danger and just deal with what's in front of them—an ability which has saved his sanity, not to mention his life, so many times. But now somehow it's different, and this alarms him—he has to link his fingers tightly behind his head to keep from yanking Sam out from under the deadly thing.

"Dad!" Sam cries out suddenly, and Jack's attention is instantly refocused as the accursed bomb starts to sink slowly toward her head.

"Doing my best, Sam," Jacob calls back, altering his course slightly. "There's a minefield out there." On the forward viewscreen yet another of the devices is headed in their direction.

The bomb in the bay continues to sink. Daniel slides out from under. Carter seems frozen for a second, and Jack grabs for her legs and hauls her toward him, pulling her to her feet and instinctively putting himself between her and the threat. _Not that his body will shield her if the monster explodes._ His arm around her shoulders, they back away as the thing floats inexorably toward the wall. He turns to gaze at her face; she is staring at him. _I love you, their eyes say. _

"Got it!" Jacob cries triumphantly, and the bomb eases back into the center of the bay.

Breathing again, Jack gives Sam's shoulder a squeeze and reluctantly lets her go, watches her slip back under the death star with Daniel.

"I'm intercepting a transmission between Heru'ur and Apophis," Jacob calls, and Jack drags his attention away from the drama in the bay, and crosses to stand behind Jacob.

"Heru'ur is offering Apophis a gift to seal their bargain," Jacob says. He listens some more, and "Damn!" he hisses.

"What?" Jack demands.

"He has Teal'c."

The knots in Jack's gut pull tighter.

Sam's exclamation of triumph comes at just that moment. "Yeah!" She rolls out from under, grinning. "It's done! Get it out of here, Dad!" She and Daniel move clear and watch with supreme relief as the rings engage and the bomb disappears. When she sees Jack's face, however, her relief turns to alarm. "What is it, sir?" she says.

It is Jacob who answers. "Heru'ur has Teal'c. He's offering to turn him over to Apophis." He pauses, listening again. "Apophis accepts. They're gonna ring him over shortly."

"Can we intercept the matter stream?" Sam asks. "Like Teal'c did when he rescued us from Sokar?"

"We'd have to uncloak to do it," Jacob replies. "We'd never get away."

"Jacob!" Jack growls.

Jacob looks around at the grim faces of Teal'c's teammates, and sighs. "All right. I'll give it a try."

But they are too late; they miss the transportation stream by a few seconds. And if the reprogrammed mine had not exploded against Apophis' ship a few seconds later, causing a distraction but relatively little damage, they undoubtedly would have been targeted by the Goa'uld's weapons. Instead, Jacob recloaks the tel'tak, just as the communicator erupts with the enraged voice of Apophis: "You dare mock me, and now you attack me!" Jacob translates. Apophis shouts another order, and six ships uncloak, surrounding Heru'ur. They all open fire and, within minutes, Heru'ur's ship explodes and breaks apart.

The mines begin to target Apophis' fleet, and Jacob moves the tel'tak to a safe distance. Apophis' ship also withdraws from the immediate area, his fleet protecting him from the thousands of explosions.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**34 **

The mission can hardly be called a success. Its purpose was to incite a war between the two system lords, depleting their resources and making both of them less of a threat. The actual outcome, however, leaves Apophis in total control of the field; now he will simply assimilate Heru'ur's armies and become even more dangerous.

The only positive result is Teal'c managed to escape from Heru'ur's ship in a glider with the help of one of the rebel Jaffa.

Jack is uncharacteristically silent during the mission debriefing. Instead of playing with his pen or doodling, as he usually does at meetings, he has his elbows on the table and his fingers interlaced tightly. Jacob's frustration dominates the debriefing, and there is nothing useful to be gained by going over and over the details. By the end of the meeting Jack's head is pounding.

Jacob corrals Sam as they are leaving, and walks her out. She casts a glance toward Jack as they head for the exit; he is still sitting at the table, and Daniel is saying something to him as Sam goes down the stairs.

"You okay, Jack?" Daniel is asking. "You were awfully quiet in the meeting."

"What? Yeah, I'm fine. Nothing to add. Jacob said it all." Jack gets to his feet. "I'm going up to the infirmary to see Teal'c."

"Tell him I'll be in to see him a little later," Daniel says.

Jack nods and walks away slowly.

Teal'c is sitting up in bed, and looking ten times better than he did when they picked him up after his escape. For just a instant, Jack envies him the healing power of the larval Goa'uld that he carries, but brushes the feeling away at once—_not even perfect health is worth having one of those snakeheads in his body!_

"How you doing, T?" he asks, leaning against the foot of the bed. "You look much better."

"I am well. My symbiote has healed my injuries, but Dr. Fraiser insists that I remain here for a few hours so she can assure herself of my recovery." Teal'c's tone is somewhere between indulgence and mild irritation. "You, however, look tired, O'Neill."

"That I am," he admits. "I think I'm going home shortly. As soon as I finish my mission report."

Janet catches him before he gets away; he skipped out on the post-mission checkup earlier, and now she spends fifteen minutes putting him through the routine. He doesn't tell her about the headache, and after he leaves the infirmary, he finds some pain pills in his quarters and takes three of them. He also decides that the mission report can wait until tomorrow; he's going home now. He swings by Sam's lab, but from out in the hall he hears her talking with Jacob, so he turns around and heads for the elevator. Almost at the surface he remembers that his truck is in Minnesota, so he calls a cab, and waits at the entrance until it arrives to take him home.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**35**

At his house Jack grabs a beer from fridge, downs half of it and then goes to get a shower. The combination is relaxing, and some of the tension slowly ebbs from his body, easing the headache. As he lets the warm water run over him, his mind runs back through the past three days.

_What a miserable mission!_ The whole thing was a failure—the worst possible outcome, as Selmak said—since Apophis has eliminated his greatest rival, and is now stronger than ever. Jack feels that he was damn near useless—with Jacob in charge, he had nothing to do except watch. And watching Sam work underneath that mine scared him half to death. It should not have been any different than dozens of other missions—and yet it was. He should have been able to put aside his feelings, and focus on what needed to be done. There was nothing he _could_ do—that was the problem. He could only watch, and think about how much danger they were in—how much danger _she_ was in. Truthfully, though, this situation was no more dangerous or frightening than most of their missions have been; his concern for her—for all of his team—has always been the same. And he's always been able to handle it. Up until now.

After the shower he shaves, and dresses in PT pants and t-shirt. The beer is warm, so he dumps it down the sink and gets another from the kitchen. He goes into the living room, digs the remote out of the couch and pulls up one of the old Simpsons episode from his recorder. Stretching out on the couch, he half watches the TV and drinks his beer. One of his favorite scenes comes up, and he focuses, for a few minutes, chuckling, until the scene is over. Getting up to go get another beer, he is suddenly dizzy, and it occurs to him that he has no idea when he ate last. He's been gone from his house for days, so it takes a few minutes to find something edible—he finally unearths a can of ravioli, which he dumps in a bowl and warms in the microwave. He carries it back to the sofa, along with another beer, and eats while he watches more of the Simpsons. His mind wanders, and he is thinking about Sam, and misses most of the episode. That's okay, he decides. It's late and he's tired, so he shuts off the TV, and stretches out on the couch again.

When he closes his eyes, Sam's face is there in his mind. He loves her, but that's not new; whether he admitted it or not, he has loved her for years. And loving her did not interfere with his judgment or leadership capacity in the past. So why now? he thinks. For he is well aware that his judgment was compromised on this mission. Why now and not before? The question seems to circle around in his head as he slides toward sleep.

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	15. Chapter 15

**36**

Sam does not like the expression in Jack's eyes during the mission debriefing. He appears troubled and grim; his posture is abnormal also, stiff and tense. Although his gaze is on Jacob most of the time, she can tell that his attention is not, and he does not look at her once. She understands this last, but she is not nearly so successful at keeping her eyes away from him.

Jack has almost nothing to say during the meeting. Of course, her father doesn't let anyone get many comments in, but that does not usually stop Jack from saying something, however irrelevant. So she is worried, and anxious to talk to him by the time they are dismissed. She is trying to figure out how they can manage some privacy, when Jacob takes her arm and ushers her out of the conference room. When she last glimpses Jack, he is still at the table and Daniel his speaking to him.

Jacob is wound up about the failure of their mission, and the consequences of Apophis' coup over Heru'ur, and continues to discuss the details as they head up to her lab. She hardly hears him—something about the Tok'ra operative on Apophis' ship being in even more danger now—her thoughts are on Jack. Jacob has been so distracted by the disaster, that he fails to comment on Sam's absence from the SGC when he arrived there. The fact that she and Jack came to the Mountain together seems to have escaped his attention. Small blessings, she thinks, knowing that it is indeed a minor issue compared to the situation they are now facing _out there_.

But her mind, all her thoughts and emotions, even her body, are all centered on Jack—and if in some corner of her brain she thinks that this is a mistake, her feelings are so overwhelming that she is unable to connect with that for long. So, except for a few random phrases, her father's near-tirade is just so much white noise in the background of her real focus. In addition, he is actually so wrapped up in what he is saying that her lack of participation does not register.

It is some time before Jacob takes his leave, telling her he is going to speak to George Hammond, and then will be departing through the gate. "I'll make sure the SGC gets any intelligence that I do," he assures her as he hugs her good-bye. "And I'll notify you before I make the next move."

Later she will recall merely tossing him a rather careless "That's good, Dad" before he goes.

When she checks out of the Mountain she discovers that Jack has been gone for nearly two hours. His sign-out is just above hers. As she calls for a cab the guard comments on the fact that Colonel O'Neill also left by taxi.

Sam goes home, and showers and finds something to eat. It is late, but she is wide awake, her mind preoccupied with wanting to see Jack. She tries to work at her home computer, but gives it up shortly, and paces. Finally she puts on her jacket, takes her keys, and goes out to the garage, where her motorcycle is parked.

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**37**

It is nearly eleven p.m. when Sam slips quietly into Jack's house, surprised that the door is not locked. It is dim inside, only a light on in the hallway and a small one in the kitchen. Jack is asleep on the couch.

She sits down on the floor beside the couch and watches him for a bit. He is tense, even in repose, his brows drawn together and a frown pulling his mouth into a thin line. A bad dream? She wonders what is going through his mind as he sleeps. Reaching out, she touches his face lightly above his eyebrow—the brow twitches and a low sound comes from his throat... not quite a groan, "Mm...mm?" She strokes his forehead gently, soothing her fingers over the lines there. He must be deeply asleep because he does not react again. In the field he would be instantly on the alert.

Removing her shoes quietly and slipping out of her clothes, she carefully eases her way onto the cushions, lying beside him, fitting her body to the shape of his. He responds to her warmth, wrapping his arms around her and snuggling his face into her shoulder.

"Jack," she whispers.

"Hmmm..." he murmurs. A sleep sound; he is not awake.

Sam curls in closer against his body heat, and slips her arm around him, her hand sliding under his shirt and stroking the smooth warm skin of his back. Her head is on his shoulder, face turning in toward him, and she kisses him under his jaw, tongue flicking out to taste the faintest trace of salt on his skin. He groans and she feels him begin to harden against her belly. The response from her core is immediate, and her breath quickens as desire coils hot and urgent inside her.

For nearly three days she has been unable to touch him, or even to look at him with any but the briefest, most impersonal glance, and suddenly she is crazy wild with wanting him. Good that he did not seek her out before leaving the SGC—she would surely have thrown herself heedlessly into his arms.

Her skin is tingling and hot where his hands are touching, and she rubs her face and her breasts and her body against him. When her stroking hands encounter his growing erection, the surge of arousal takes her breath away and she groans deeply. There is little of rational thought left in her mind as her hips begin to move rhythmically against his. She slides her leg over his thigh and across his hip, hooking her heel behind his leg for leverage. Positioned now so that his erection is pressing against the perfect spot, she begins to rock mindlessly, panting.

"Sam..." he groans, coming awake at last and burying his face in her soft hair, his hands finding their way to her breast and between her thighs.

"Oh god Jack... Oh—I can't stop...I'm..."

His fingers stroke into her wet heat. "Go ahead, Sam," he whispers. "Go..." And feels her convulsing against his hand in long waves of release. He is throbbing with the need to be with her, to be inside her; his fingers move gently across super-sensitive nerve endings, and her climax explodes into renewed life.

She is almost sobbing now and he takes her mouth with his, swallowing the sounds and thrusting his tongue against hers, greedily taking in as much of her passion as he can claim. As she begins to come down from the high, he is fumbling at his pants, freeing himself, reaching for her, trying to be careful but so completely aroused by now that he is half-alarmed by his own intensity. But she is open to him, meeting him on his own terms, urging him on, guiding him... He plunges in, distantly hearing her crying his name, barely knowing that he is calling to her in return. The pleasure is mind-blowing, and he is lost in it for a small eternity, drowning, and soaring beyond any dream of flight, and dying and being reborn again in her arms.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**38**

A few hours later.

"Jack..."

_No response._

"Jack!"

"Mm..."

"Jack, wake up."

"Mmm..."

"We can't sleep here. We should go to bed."

"Not moving..."

_A soft laugh. _ "Remember the last time we slept on a couch."

"Mmm...backache..."

"Yes."

_Nuzzling into her neck. Soft_. "Yum."

"Jack..."

_Sweet flesh behind her ear. Nibbling._

"Oh... Jack..."

"What's this..." _A nipple? More sweetness..._

"Uh. Uhm..." _Catch of breath._

_Here's another one..._ "Will wonders never cease..."

"J..Jack..." _Losing focus here._

"Let's just see... what's down here..." _The sweetest of all._

"Oh. Oh yes. Yes...there. Just... there..."

"And, look...this fits...here."

"Oooh... nnhhh!"

"Oh god! Sam..."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**39**

"What are we going to do now?" she asks after quite a bit more time has passed.

He opens one eye and peers at her. "Well, I was going to get more sleep—but if you have something else in mind..."

"Oh, stop. I mean it, Jack! Cut it out!" She squirms a little against him.

"Not the way to get me to stop..." he warns breathlessly. "Naked is bad enough... naked and wiggling—forget it."

"Huh. You mean wiggling like this..."

"Oh, good god, Sam..."

There are several minutes of muffled giggles and groans before they relax and curl into each others' arms. Jack lazily strokes his hand down her back and side.

"Do you have any idea how good you feel, woman?" he asks.

"I know how good you make me feel. Better than anything I've ever felt before." She nuzzles his neck, kisses his collarbone. "I missed you these past few days."

"We were never more than a few yards apart," he points out.

"Yeh. It might as well have been lightyears." She turns so she can look at his face. "What are we going to do, Jack?"

"Ah. _ That's_ what you meant. Thought you had other activities in mind."

"Okay," she sighs. "I see that the sarcastic, deflecting, non-communicating Jack O'Neill is back. Let me know when he gets tired of being as ass." She closes here eyes.

"Ouch. That's harsh, Carter." He rolls up on his elbow and looks down into her face. When she does not react, he leans down and kisses her cheek, then her nose, and her temple. "Sorry," he says at last. "I promised myself I wouldn't do that with you anymore."

"Promised yourself? But not me."

"Easier to break a promise that you haven't told anyone about," he admitted. "The truth is, I don't know the answer to your question. And before you get upset, yes, I want us to work this out—hell, I _need_ for us to work this out. Because I can't live without you anymore. And, I agree, it might as well have been lightyears." Those gorgeous blue eyes of hers are open now, staring up at him, and he sees to his horror that they are filling with tears. "Aw—come on, Sam. Please. Don't do that to me. You know I hate it when you cry. 'Cause it just may get me started. Is that what you want—to see your tough old colonel cry?"

She lets go with something between a giggle and a snort, and reaches up to stroke his cheek. "I love you, Jack. I love all the Jacks; the sarcastic one, the one who thinks he's funny, the one that will jump in front of a bomb to protect me, the one who cooks sooo much better than I do..."

"The one who _thinks_ he's funny? I'm crushed." He grins and pulls her into his arms as he rolls onto his back. He's glad she insisted they move to the bed, it's much more roomy and comfortable. "I love you, too," he says. "Every inch of you. Every hair on your gorgeous head. Even your toes!" He laughs softly and kisses her hair. "And tomorrow we will talk about what we can do. But right now, we both need sleep. It's 0500, and we're supposed to report back to the base at noon."

"Okay, I'll let you get away with that for now. You're gonna need a lot more practice at stopping that avoidance behavior, though."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**40**

It is the doorbell that wakes them. Jack glances at the clock. 10:18. "We slept late," he says, swinging his legs out of the bed.

"What?" Sam mutters. "Who's at the door?"

Jack looks out the window. "It's Daniel. Stay here. I'll get rid of him. Get a little more sleep." He yanks on his pants and heads out the door.

"Mmm..kay.." she murmurs, closing her eyes.

It's not just Daniel at the door; Janet is with him.

"Doc!" Jack exclaims. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We've been trying to call you, Jack," Daniel says.

"Uh... I musta turned off my phone..." Jack is forced to stand aside as they step past him. "Yeah. Come on in." His eyes narrow as he takes in their serious expressions. "What's going on? What are you doing here?"

"Actually, we're looking for Sam," Janet says. "Her phone's off, too. And she's not at home."

"Uhh..." Jack begins.

"The Indian's in your driveway, Jack," Daniel points out.

"Oh, yeah." He'd forgotten to even ask how she got here. "What's happened?"

"It's Jacob," Janet says quietly. "Where is Sam?"

Jack can tell by her tone that this cannot be good. "She's here. Is he...?" He knows the answer by the look in their eyes. "How?"

"We got a communication from the Tok'ra about an hour ago," Daniel explains. "Jacob went to try to extract their operative on Apophis' ship. They were caught." Daniel swallows hard. "Rather than let themselves be tortured and give away Tok'ra secrets, they committed suicide. They have a way of doing it that insures they can't be resurrected in a sarcophagus."

"God," Jack says softly. He is silent, absorbing what Daniel has said. "How do they know what happened?"

"Tok'ra operatives have a life monitor implanted in their bodies," Janet says. "It transmits a constant signal that can be picked up by special receivers. If they're captured, they have standing orders to kill themselves. The operative's signal went out three hours ago. That only happens if he's dead."

"Did Jacob have one of those implants?"

"No. But they haven't heard from him," Daniel says.

"When was his last communication?"

"Just before he cloaked his ship for a close approach to Apophis' mothership. The plan was to coordinate with the operative, and ring him aboard. If Jacob had failed, and escaped, he'd have gotten back in touch."

"So the Tok'ra are _assuming_ Jacob was caught," Jack says. "But they don't know for certain."

Daniel and Janet exchange a look. "This is their standard procedure," Daniel insists. "If they get caught, they...kill themselves. All Tok'ra get the same training."

"Come on, Daniel, we're talking about Jacob here. He's a bit more of an independent thinker than that!"

"But Selmak..."

"Selmak's not your typical Tok'ra, either," Jack cuts in. "Especially after two years with Jacob. Suicide is not going to be the first choice for either of them." He looks at Daniel and Janet, daring them to dispute him.

After a minute, Daniel shrugs. "Maybe you're right. I hope so."

"I'm right." Jack's voice is confident. "I'll wake Sam and tell her what's happened. We'll see you at the Mountain within the next hour or so." He steps over and opens the door. "Thanks, Doc. Daniel."

When he returns to the bedroom, he finds Sam curled up on his pillow and sleeping soundly. He slides into the bed behind her and wraps his arms around her, pulling her close. For a few minutes he simply lies there holding her, thinking about what he is going to say. Finally he shakes her shoulder gently, and speaks into her hair.

"Sam. Wake up, Sam."

"Hmm... What?"

"Come on, Babe. Wake up. I need to talk to you."

She draws a deep breath, and turns toward him as far as proximity will allow. "Mmm... Hi. What did Daniel want?"

"That's what I need to talk to you about."

"Okay." She yawns, and then twists around until she is facing him. Bleary-eyed, she nuzzles her head into his shoulder and kisses his neck and chin, and reaches to pull his mouth down to hers. His kiss is sweet, comforting, warm, but not passionate, and she opens her eyes to find his eyes on her, and they are full of concern. "Jack?" She pulls back to see his face, draws in an apprehensive breath. "What's wrong?"

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**


	16. Chapter 16

**Spoiler for Divide and Conquer, season 4. I have altered some details resulting from that episode.**

**40**

"Sam. I'm so very sorry." Jack and Sam have gone directly to General Hammond's office when they arrive at the SGC. The general gets to his feet and comes around his desk when he sees who it is.

"Thank you, sir." She has held back her tears until now, hanging on to Jack's conviction that there is not enough proof of her father's death as yet to give up hope. But the General's sympathy causes her eyes to fill, and what she intends to say clogs in her throat. She turns to Jack in a silent plea.

He moves closer to her side, not touching, but clearly supporting. "Sir, we'd like to hear the message from the Tok'ra."

"Of course," Hammond says, his gaze going from one to the other. "Let's go down to the control room."

"Thank you, sir." Taking Sam's arm, Jack follows the General out through the briefing room and down the stairs. Glancing down at Sam's face, he sees that she has herself back in hand, as she unobtrusively wipes her eyes with her hand and straightens her shoulders.

Sergeant Harriman and the SA at the tech station look up as they enter the control room. "Sergeant, could you please put up this morning's communication from the Tok'ra on the monitor," Hammond says.

"Yes, sir."

"This came in at 0855 this morning," Hammond says.

They turn toward the wall screen as the sergeant manipulates the controls. The screen comes to life with static, which resolves itself quickly into the face of an unfamiliar Tok'ra female.

"I am Tiersha, representing the Tok'ra High Council. Am I speaking with General Hammond of the Taur'i?" It is the host who is talking.

The General's voice comes from off the screen. "I'm General Hammond, commander of this base."

"General, it is my duty to bring you sad news, both for the Taur'i and the Tok'ra. Our most respected elder, Selmak, is dead, along with her host, the one you call Jacob Carter."

"Jacob?" Hammond's voice stumbles on the name, then recovers. "Please tell me what happened?"

"Fourteen of your hours ago we received a report from Jacob of the unfortunate results of his attempt to incite war between Apophis and Heru'ur. He was deeply concerned for the safety of our operative, Leara, aboard Apophis' mothership; he felt that Leara's secrecy had been compromised and wished to attempt to remove her from Apophis' ship. At the time, we assured him that Leara's life monitor was still active, and showed no change indicating alarm."

"Excuse me," Hammond broke in. "Life monitor?"

"Every Tok'ra operative is implanted with a transmitter, through which the symbiote can broadcast subsonic communication," Tiersha explains. "It is a technology the Tok'ra developed as a means by which to receive reports from our covert agents. It also sends a constant signal indicating that the agent is alive, and the state of his health. Even without direct communication, we can deduce from the readings a great deal about the wearer's condition—whether he is being tortured, for instance."

"I see," Hammond says. "Go on."

"As I said, Leara's signal was benign. However, shortly thereafter, her symbiote, Kerlin, reported that suspicion was being directed toward them. When we relayed this to Jacob, he insisted we allow him to go in and try to recover Leara. Permission was granted. Five hours later, Jacob reported that he was in proximity to Apophis' ship, and would be out of communication while he attempted to contact Leara and bring her aboard his ship. He was cloaking in order to be able to move in closer. A message from Kerlin soon after indicated that contact had been made, and the recovery was underway. However, within an hour there was a sudden spike in Leara's life readings, indicating severe distress. Shortly thereafter the monitor ceased transmitting. She was dead."

"And Jacob?" Hammond asks.

"We have heard no more from Jacob," Tiersha replies. "As I believe you are aware, each Tok'ra operative is trained in a method of suicide which assures no regeneration, and is under oath to take his own life should he be captured by the Goa'uld. The abruptness with which Leara's life readings terminated indicated that this is what has happened. Selmak was also trained for such an eventuality, and would have undoubtedly made the same decision."

"I see," Hammond says after a moment. "I offer my sympathy to the Tok'ra on the loss of Selmak, and Leara."

"And we to the Taur'i for the loss of Jacob." Tiersha bows her head, and when she raises it and speaks again, it is with the resonating voice of her symbiote. "I am Nellen. In her compassion for the Taur'i, Tiersha has revealed to you the existence of technology which would have been best kept secret. It is most imperative that this knowledge be kept under the highest security. Is this understood?"

"It will be treated as such," Hammond assures her.

"Very well. This transmission is ended." The image vanishes into static.

"Another Tok'ra charmer," Jack remarks sarcastically.

Hammond shoots him a mildly reproachful look, and turns more gently to Sam. "That's what we got, Major. I'm sorry."

"Thank you, sir. I appreciate your letting us see it," she says.

"Yes, sir," Jack adds. "But, it seems to me that the evidence for Jacob's death is entirely circumstantial. He didn't have one of those monitors—Teresa would have mentioned it. So there's no actual proof that he's dead."

"Tiersha," Sam corrects automatically.

Hammond squeezes the bridge of his nose. "You're suggesting that Jacob might have been captured and may still be alive."

"I'm just sayin' it's too soon to give up. And definitely a mistake to simply take the Tok'ra's word about this. You know how good they are at keeping things to themselves."

Hammond glances from him to Sam and sees hope and pleading in her eyes. He sighs and looks back at Jack. "What do you have in mind?"

"Get in touch with the High Council. We need to talk to them again, find out what we can. I know we don't have any real friends there, but just pointing out the lack of proof may get us some information."

"Lantash," Sam says, looking at Jack. "He might help us."

"What? I thought he was still in that recovery thingy." Jack frowns.

Two months earlier, when the Tok'ra host, Martouf, was proven to be a zet'arc, an assassin bent on killing the President of the United States, and was subsequently killed by Teal'c and Carter, his symbiote Lantash was recovered by the Tok'ra. However, Lantash was too weak to blend again immediately, so he was placed in a special chamber to regain his strength. Jack has no idea how long it would take the symbiote to recover.

"He may be still in the nurture chamber—but we can ask," she says. "If he has a new host, maybe he'll be willing to talk with us."

Both she and Jack turn to look at General Hammond.

"I'll put in a call to the Tok'ra High Council," the General says. "Meanwhile, think about what other steps we can take."

"Yes, sir," the two voices echo each other.

Hammond turns to Walter to set the communication in motion.

"Let's go find Daniel and Teal'c," Jack suggests to Sam. "Maybe they'll have some ideas." He stands aside for her to precede him out of the control room.

**41**

Lantash's new host is called Fradeen, and he agrees to speak with SG-1 when they contact the Tok'ra later that day. A few hours later, Fradeen and two companions arrive through the stargate. O'Neill, Carter, and General Hammond meet them and escort them upstairs to the conference room, where Daniel and Teal'c join them.

"My symbiote Lantash is still recovering from the unfortunate loss of his previous host, Martouf," Fradeen explains. "He is not yet strong enough to participate actively in this meeting. However, he can convey to me the answers to any questions you may have for him." Fradeen is a tall, dark-skinned man in early middle age. He has a quiet, calm demeanor.

"We appreciate Lantash's condition, and wish him a speedy recovery," General Hammond replies. "Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill would like to ask some questions."

"Yes." Fradeen faces Sam and a faint smile touches his features. "Lantash remembers Major Carter well. She was most highly regarded by Martouf, and is a good friend to the Tok'ra."

His words almost brings tears to Sam's eyes, as she is the one who fired the fatal shot at Martouf. She swallows hard, and forces herself to focus on the problem at hand. "Thank you," she says. "We'd like to know anything you can tell us about my father, Jacob, and Selmak."

There is a slight pause before Fradeen speaks. "We understand that they were lost in an attempt to rescue Leara and her symbiote, Kerlin, from Apophis' ship."

"They didn't have one of those monitor things," Jack puts in. "There's no proof that they died."

"True," Fradeen agrees. "But the training for all the Tok'ra is the same—should they be captured they are obligated to commit _mak'lahr." _

"Still, there's no proof," Jack says stubbornly.

One of the companion Tok'ra, Sina, speaks up. "All Tok'ra are sworn to this action."

"Lantash says Selmak would have resisted this path as long as possible," Fradeen say. The other Tok'ra turn startled eyes toward him.

Sina bows her head and her host, Ha'mara speaks. "I also believe Jacob and Selmak would have been reluctant to choose death." She turns to Sam. "I know your father, Jacob, well. We have talked of the Tau'ri reverence for life. I believe he would strive to live."

"So," Jack says. "Let's assume that Jacob at least did not kill himself. What are the other possibilities?"

Those around the table glance at each other.

"They could have been captured and imprisoned by Apophis or one of his allies," the third Tok'ra host, Gwynna suggests.

"And they would be tortured," Fradeen says.

"Yes," Gwynna's symbiote, Kelmaa agrees. "At which time they would have chosen _mak'lahr_."

Jack tries to contain his frustration. He wants options that leave Jacob alive. "No. We're assuming Jacob didn't do that. After all, the Goa'uld want them alive, to get information from them. Could they remove Selmak in order to get to Jacob?"

"The Goa'uld do not know how," Kelmaa says. "An attempt at extraction would kill both host and symbiote."

"Jolinar left Carter," Jack points out.

Fradeen nods. "True. A symbiote can leave the host voluntarily. However, removing one against its will is an extremely delicate procedure."

"So Jacob and Selmak are still blended, and they are still alive," Jack states with conviction.

Fradeen grows still for a moment, and then smiles faintly. "Lantash says it is good to see you have not changed, Colonel O'Neill. He says your stubbornness—the persistence of the Taur'i—is known to accomplish things where logic and reason fail."

Jack looks a bit nonplussed at this. Hammond covers a chuckle with a cough, and Daniel visibly suppresses a grin. "Yeah. Whatever," Jack says, recovering. "The thing is, Freddy, we don't..."

"...leave people behind," Fradeen finishes the sentence. "Yes, Colonel. From Lantash, I am well aware of that."

Jack leans forward. "Then you know we won't give up until we find Jacob or see real proof that he's dead. Is there any information you can give us—any way that you can help us?"

Sina bows her head briefly, and Ha'mara speaks again. "We can alert our operatives to pass on anything they hear which may be pertinent. I personally will check all incoming reports for relevant intelligence." She hesitates a moment. "Sina is less inclined to think this will be helpful. However, I agree with you that everything possible should be done to determine Jacob's fate." She turns a sympathetic glance toward Sam.

Sam nods. "Thank you very much."

"I would be gratified to find that you and your colleagues are correct, Major Carter, and that your father is alive. Jacob is a friend."

The three Tok'ra rise, and the others get to their feet also. "We will inform you of anything we learn which may offer a clue," Fradeen says.

"We appreciate your help," General Hammond tells them. "Thank you for coming."

**42**

The guard is changing on the prison level of the mothership. Six Jaffa march noisily in step, wheeling sharply around a corner to the station where their counterparts wait to be relieved. From their confinement, the prisoners can hear the sharp commands as the leader assigns each man to his post.

The cell is dim and small, its floor cold and hard. These conditions do not concern Leara of the Tok'ra, who is aching from her last session with Apophis' torture master. She thinks her left shoulder might be fractured and she can feel bruises and burns all over her body from the pain stick that was used. When she finally passed out this time, they dragged her back to the cell, where she awakened about an hour ago to find Jacob gone again. They have been taking them alternately for their torture.

It has been over thirty-six hours since they were captured, and the wound in her upper chest where they have torn out the life monitor is still seeping blood. The Jaffa First Prime who hacked it out took great pleasure in her agony, and in grinding the transmitter under his heel. The destruction of her monitor will have been interpreted by the Tok'ra as her death by her own hand. There will be no rescue attempt from her people.

Despite her pain and torture, Leara's greatest worry is for her symbiote, Kerlin. She has not been able to rouse him since the first massive dose of drugs that the Jaffa forced her to drink. Initially, the dose had made her ill, but that soon passed. However, Kerlin was left comatose, and continual smaller draughts of the drug have kept him that way. With Kerlin in a coma, she no longer has access to his healing power. She assumes Selmak is in the same state, since Jacob was given the same drug. Somewhere the Goa'uld have found a substance that sedates the symbiote without doing undue harm to the host.

The implications of such a drug are greatly disturbing. Its existence seriously compromises any Tok'ra operations against the Goa'uld, since the host without a symbiote is much weaker and more susceptible to torture, and has no recourse to the _mak'lahr_. It also means there is someone else out there who possesses the substance—the Goa'uld would not develop such a thing, they steal it or buy it or force others to give it to them—and what those others might do with it is anyone's guess.

In addition, it is a serious blow that the Goa'uld know about the life monitor, and where to find it. This has been the technology the Tok'ra have depended on for communications during their covert operations

The door slides open and two Jaffa drag Jacob's unconscious body into the cell. Leara tenses, expecting to be taken out, but they merely drop Jacob and leave. She crawls over to Jacob's side. Horrified by his condition, she seeks and finds the weak pulse at his throat. She tries to gently arrange his limbs into a more comfortable position, then lies down beside him and closes her eyes, certain that the Jaffa will come back for her soon.


	17. Chapter 17

**It's been a while since I updated this story. Just couldn't seem to make it come together.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**43**

"What's our next step?" Daniel asks after the Tok'ra are gone.

"Put the word out to our allies," Jack says. "Ask them to listen for anything that might be a clue."

"I shall contact Master Bra'tac and the Free Jaffa," Teal'c says.

"We should send messages to all the friendlies," Jack adds. "Cimmeria, Tollana, Orbania, Argos."

"The Asgard, of course," General Hammond says.

"The Nox," Daniel says. "And Edora."

"Everybody we can think of," Jack says, glancing over at Sam, who is staring down at the table, too obviously trying to contain her emotions. "Who knows where something may turn up. Even that bar we visited a couple months ago on P8Q-111, Danny—where you 'tested' the local brew so thoroughly!" he adds with a smirk.

Daniel shoots him a dirty look, but Jack sees a small grin crack Carter's face, and is satisfied.

**44**

Jacob wakes in pain. His first instinct is to call on Selmak to ease the agony in his body, but an instant later he remembers his symbiote's condition, and worry is added to the discomfort. Carefully he tries moving, but that only brings more pain.

Opening his eyes, he sees that Leara is sitting with her back against the cell wall, watching him. His expression lightens a little. "Hey," he says, trying to keep the strain out of his voice. "How you doing?"

"I am...enduring," she replies, her gaze running over the massive bruising and cuts on his face. At the moment she feels better than he looks.

"Kerlin?" he asks.

"Nothing." She shakes her head. "Selmak, also?"

He sighs. "Nope. Still out." He tries again to shift position, and subsides with a yelp of pain. "Think they broke a rib or three..."

Leara leans forward a bit. "Is there something I can do to help?"

"Don't think so..." He breathes carefully for a few moments as the pain eases somewhat. "How long do you think we've been here?"

"I estimate a day and a half," she replies. "I could be off by many hours, however. I have tried to count the guards' shift changes."

"Hmm. Not long enough yet," he murmurs. "It'll take at another day or so."

"I do not understand..."

"Until they figure out where we are and come to get us."

She gives him a look that is extremely familiar to Jacob. He calls it 'that Tok'ra look'—superior, aloof, faintly pitying, certain that he does not know what he is talking about. Jacob is no longer bothered by the look, in fact he finds it amusing, because when it comes to the Tau'ri, the Tok'ra are often wrong in their assessment.

"There will be no rescue attempt, Jacob." Her tone is rather gentle, which surprises him. "My life monitor was destroyed. They believe we are dead."

"That's what the Tok'ra will think," Jacob agrees. "But not my people. Not my daughter," he assures her. "Sam will figure it out; she and SG1 will come for us. We just have to hold on and not tell them anything."

**45**

It is the first time in two years that Jacob has been alone in his own head. He finds that it is a rather strange sensation. At times since his blending with Selmak, he has wondered if he's forgotten what it's like to be one person. Now he knows that he has not. It's like riding a bicycle, he supposes, chuckling to himself wryly at the hackneyed aphorism. Your body doesn't forget—no, something deeper than the body—the being, the self. He is extremely worried for Selmak, but at the same time too honest with himself not to admit that in a way he appreciates these hours of true privacy.

He remembers clearly how disturbing it was in the first weeks after his blending—to have thoughts, knowledge, memories even, which were not his, and yet felt so much like they belonged to him. Worse, to know that his own thoughts were open to another being. Gradually, he has become accustomed to Selmak's presence—it is now his 'second nature' indeed.

Humans are solitary creatures in their thoughts, after all; Jacob was always one of the most solitary; wary, and careful never to reveal too much of himself to anyone—not even to his own children, sadly. His wife was the only person who was ever permitted to know him completely, and she had to fight for it! While Debra was alive, he had an opening into the world—she was both doorway and buffer. After her death, he slammed the door shut against everyone, became the quintessential military man.

Blending with Selmak was a revolution—and a revelation. Jacob is thankful for her great age and wisdom; he isn't sure he would have been able to tolerate one of the (even slightly) younger and more rigid Tok'ra—and vice versa; he admits he was a difficult host. Surprisingly, he has learned a great deal from Selmak about relating to his fellow humans. Especially Sam. Selmak developed a deep fondness for Sam in a very short time, and refuses to allow Jacob to continue to shut himself off from her. At first Jacob was uncomfortable with this, but now he is very grateful. His relationship with his daughter has been closer and more fulfilling in these past two years than in all her life before. And he knows that she and Jack will not give up on them.

**46**

"You shouldn't be here," Sam protests as Jack steps into her quarters and closes the door behind him. He says nothing, just tilts his head slightly and reaches out to take her gently by the shoulders. She comes into his arms with no resistance.

"...but I'm glad you are," she adds, the words muffled against his shoulder. Her arms slide around his waist and hold on tight. She turns her head so that her face is against his neck.

One of his arms is firm across her back, and his other hand cradles the side of her head and her cheek. He lowers his face into her hair and kisses the top of her head.

"How ya doin'?" he asks softly.

"I don't know... I'm scared."

He feels tears on his hand and strokes her cheek with his thumb. "We'll do everything we can to find him, Sam. You know that. We won't give up." He tips her chin up. "Look at me," he says, and when she does, he goes on, "I promise you—I won't stop until we know what happened."

"I know..." She buries her face deeper against him. "I know."

He holds her close and she cries against his chest. After a few minutes she tries to say something with her face mashed against him, but he can't understand her. "Sam..." he whispers. Gathering her close, he moves them over to the bed where he lays them both down and wraps his arms around her.

Her tears slow after a few minutes. "I should have listened to him," she says.

"To... Jacob?" he asks.

She nods. "Yeah. After we got back from the mission he was talking about the operative on Apophis' ship. Leara. He was worried." She rubs her hand across her eyes. "I wasn't paying attention. He may have said something about what he was going to do. Something that would help us now. But I didn't hear it..."

Jack feels her start to tremble again. "Turn over and let me rub you back," he says gently.

After a moment's hesitation, she turns onto her stomach. He rolls up on his knees and sits astride her thighs, and begins at her lower back kneading the tense muscles there, slowly working his way up either side of her spine to her shoulders. "Mmmm... That feels so good..." she mumbles into the bedclothes. He works on her shoulders and neck for several minutes, then gradually retraces the path down the length of her back to her buttocks. Under his hands he can feel her relax, and can tell when her breathing evens out. When he reaches her shoulders again, he bends over her and puts his lips close to her ear.

"You awake, Carter?" The question is barely more than a breath.

"Mmmm..." she replies after a moment. She starts to roll onto her back and he stretches out beside her to give her room. "Thank you... That felt really good." Her eyes are closed.

"You're welcome." Jack props himself up on his elbow, and looks down at her. Even with her face puffy from crying she's beautiful. He leans down and kisses her cheek. She is so relaxed she nearly doesn't respond, but then she turns her head toward him and his next kiss lands on her mouth.

A small sound escapes her throat and her lips soften against his. Moving in closer, he teases with his tongue, inviting her to open to him. She does, and the kiss rapidly becomes urgent as he rolls his body partway onto hers and nudges a knee between her thighs. Unbuttoning her shirt, he slides his hand inside to caress her breast. The nipple rises to his touch and he feels an answering tightness in his groin. He plants kisses down the curve of her throat, lingering a moment on her collarbone, then takes his time finding his way up the swell of her breast until his tongue replaces his fingers on the rigid peak. She's so soft, and her skin smells so good...

"Jack... should we be doing this here," Sam whispers breathlessly. "What if somebody comes..."

"That's why I locked the door," Jack murmurs without removing his mouth from her breast.

"Oh." She closes her eyes and allows the sensations he is causing to wash over her.

**47**

It is Teal'c who finds the first clue. He has been in touch with Bra'tac, and has unearthed a rumor. "A new recruit to the Free Jaffa has recently arrived on Chulak, from the service of Mar'lek—a minor Goa'uld pledged to Apophis. It is said that there are Tok'ra prisoners on one of Apophis' ships, who are being tortured for information regarding the Tok'ra's current home base, as well as passcodes, battle plans and tactics. This recruit did not observe the prisoners himself, but the rumor is they are being held on the ha'tak commanded by the system lord, Farah—an ally of Apophis."

"So where do we find this Fairy?" Jack wants to know.

Daniel rolls his eyes and glances over at Sam, who merely shakes her head.

"The recruit did not know, O'Neill. Only that Farah's ship was one of those in the fleet which attacked Heru'ur."

"Most of those ships were damaged by the mines," Sam says.

"Which means they probably have a base where they can make repairs," Daniel adds. "Can we find out where they might go to do that?"

"Maybe the Tok'ra have that information," Sam suggests. "We should let them know about this anyway. This could be dangerous for them. If the Goa'uld can get information from the captives, it could compromise the Tok'ra base."

"I'll speak to the General about getting in touch with them again," Jack says.

**48**

Tellnon, of the Tok'ra High Council appears on the communication channel to the SGC with Fradeen and Ha'mara at his side. All three are deeply disturbed by the information conveyed to them by the Tau'ri.

"Any Tok'ra operative captured by the Goa'uld should have committed mak'lahr," Tellnon insists.

"And this is only a rumor," O'Neill says. "However, the possibility that it's true..."

"Cannot be ignored," Fradeen agrees.

Jack frowns. He hopes Freddy does not plan to make a habit of finishing his sentences! "Are you familiar with this system lord... Fairy?" he asks.

"Farah," Ha'mara corrects mildly. "I am. She has recently allied herself with Apophis, having held out until it became apparent that he would be able to amass the forces necessary to quell most resistance. Unfortunately, we have no operatives aboard her ships, and therefore cannot add any information to that which you have acquired."

"However," Tellnon says. "If there is a possibility of our people being held captive, we must take steps to move our headquarters quickly."

"Do you know of any planet which Apophis may be using as a base for repairs on his damaged ships?" Sam asks.

"There are three possibilities," Ha'mara says. "We are sending coordinates and gate addresses now."

"Thank you," Jack says. "If we need to contact you again...?"

"We will inform you when we have relocated our base," Tellnon says briefly. "Until then, I fear we will be out of reach." He glances at Ha'mara.

"I will contact you every two days until we have reestablished ourselves," Ha'mara tells them. "Good luck. Major Carter, I hope you find your father."

"Thank you," Sam says. "And good luck to you also."

The communication ends.

Within a very short time the computer has matched two of the gate addresses to planets previously visited by SG teams. One of them had been occupied by Heru'ur's forces at the time of the visit over a year ago, its native population enslaved. SG4 had made a hasty retreat once they realized the situation. The second had shown no sign of Goa'uld occupation, but scans had indicated modest deposits of naquadah; that planet is on the SGC's schedule for a revisit. The third address is not in the SGC computer. Its location is plotted as being on the edge of territory claimed by Apophis, and in the same general vicinity (galactically speaking) as the other two worlds.

"We should start with P5Y-884, the planet formerly belonging to Heru'ur, sir," Sam suggests. "The slave society was already in place. All Apophis had to do was substitute one overlord for another. There may already be infrastructure for docking and repairing."

"I agree, sir," Jack says to General Hammond. "But we need teams sent to the other addresses just in case."

The leaders of several SG teams are seated around the briefing room table, with team members standing nearby. They have been briefed on the situation, and what their objective is going to be.

"Very well," Hammond agrees. "We'll check out 884 first. SG1 and SG5 will be ready to go through the gate if it's clear. The report of our team last year indicated that the stargate is some distance from any settlements, but it may be guarded." He nods toward O'Neill, and SG5's leader, Lt. Colonel Victor Sharp. "Colonel Reynolds, you'll take SG3 and 12 to the unknown address. Colonel Dixon, SG3 and 8 will investigate the planet with the naquadah. Col. O'Neill, Col. Sharp, have your teams ready in thirty minutes. The rest of you be geared up in one hour. Dismissed."

There is a brief period of restrained chaos as all of the teams exit the briefing room. The other teams stand aside to allow SG1 and SG5 first access to the equipment room and armory. In exactly thirty minutes both teams are in the gate room as the MALP is sent through to P5Y-884.

**49**

Jacob falls back, exhausted, from the latrine corner of their cell. He is as sick as he ever felt when he took chemo for his cancer—and he is doing it deliberately. He only hopes he has rid his body of enough of the sedative which he was forced to drink a few minutes ago by the guards.

"Jacob?" Leara is sitting against the far wall. "What...?"

"If I can get enough of that poison out..." He pauses to breathe. "...maybe Selmak can overcome it..."

Leara watches him, seeing his breath come in gasps. She does not understand the stubbornness of the Tau'ri. He still fights when there is no chance of winning. Still insists that his people will come for them. If he manages to revive Selmak, what will that accomplish? They will know—they will see his renewed strength and find a way to force the sedative on him again.

Leara has resigned herself to her death. She only hopes it comes before the Goa'uld can torture any vital information out of her. If she had the means, she would end it now. It is not that she does not wish to live. But it is the best way to protect the Tok'ra race. It is what experience has taught them, what training demands of them—sacrifice of oneself to save the group. Do not waste resources on rescue, there are too few of us as is.

But Jacob still fights.


	18. Chapter 18

**50**

Selmak awakens slowly, with difficulty. For an unknown time she hovers on the verge of consciousness, unable to comprehend what is happening. _Jacob?_ His name is her first coherent thought.

'Rest' he tells her silently. 'Don't try to do anything. Be quiet.'

_But you are in pain. I must..._

'No. Don't try to help me. I'm all right.'

Rapidly he explains what has happened to them. 'If the Goa'uld realize you are awake, they will force much more of the sedative on me. I'm able to purge the small amounts they use to maintain your coma, but I don't think I can handle a large dose.'

She understands. _I will do as you say. When I am stronger, we will decide how to proceed._

**xxxxxxxxxxx**

**51**

The MALP signal shows that there are two Jaffa on guard at the gate on P5Y-884. They immediately destroy the machine when it comes through the gate, but SG1 and SG5 are only a few seconds behind it, and take down the guards before they have time to call for assistance. With the two teams are Master Bra'tac, and To'kel, his protégé, a Free Jaffa warrior.

The wormhole dissipates and the ten intruders vanish into the nearby woods, dragging the bodies of the Jaffa with them and hiding them in the undergrowth. They spread out, in groups of two, heading northeast toward the location of the settlement, based on the information from the previous visit to the planet.

Three kilometers from the gate, they crest a hill and look down into a valley more than a kilometer across and continuing east and west out of sight. A river runs down the middle of the valley. Below them, four Ha'taks, Goa'uld motherships, rest on docking pyramids. Damage can be seen on all of them. There is a great deal of activity around the ships.

The teams take cover in the edge of the woods and observe. The docking and repair area takes up most of the valley. Across the river, at the edge of the hills, is a village consisting of probably thirty or forty adobe or wooden buildings. Up the valley, a kilometer to the east there is a large military-style encampment of tents and lean-tos.

There are groups of workers, slaves no doubt, busy making repairs on the ships. Jaffa guards are posted around the workspace, but there seem to be no guards at the rim of the valley.

"This is Apophis' planet," Brat'ac says. "Their most likely threat is from the slaves. They do not expect any trouble from outside."

"So how do we know which ship is Farah's? If it's even here?" Colonel Sharp asks.

"I will go down and find out," To'kel offers.

Jack glances at him and then at Bra'tac.

"We can trust him," Bra'tac assures them.

"All right," Jack says to To'kel. "Be careful, though."

"I shall. I will listen and learn what I can. If that is no help, I will ask for Farah's ship. I will say I have a message from my system lord."

The young Jaffa slips away into the woods again, moving around the rim of the valley away from the place where the SG teams are concealed.

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

**52**

Jacob has had to endure two more torture sessions, as well as purge another small dose of the sedative drug. Selmak is slowly gaining strength, and has been able to partially heal some of Jacob's internal injuries.

'Every little bit helps,' he tells her in a small attempt at humor.

_I believe the ship is docked,_ she says. _I have detected no shipwide movement or vibration for some time now. Even maintaining orbit would result in some movement._

'They must be making repairs. Hopefully it will take a while. Long enough for Sam and her team to find us.'

**xxxxxxxxxxx**

**53**

It is three hours before Tok'el returns. The sun is setting.

"Farah's ship is the second from the left," To'kel says, pointing to one of the Ha'taks. "It suffered moderate damage from the mines. Repairs are expected to be finished in another day."

"So tonight will be our best opportunity," Bra'tac suggests.

"The troops have been removed from the ships," To'kel adds. "Only a small complement of Jaffa are left on guard. The rest are in the encampment to the east."

"Even better," Jack says. "It'll make it easier to find Jacob if he's there."

"May I suggest that Bra'tac, To'kel and I conduct the rescue," Teal'c says. "We will be less noticeable inside the ship. You can position yourselves to give us cover when we emerge with JacobCarter and the Tok'ra operative."

"In the dark, you can probably get away with that, " Jack said. "You can probably even get away with seeming to have prisoners."

Teal'c tilts his head fractionally. "Indeed."

"Sir?" Carter asks.

"Daniel and I," he pauses and glances at the others, settles on SG5's second-in-command, "and Captain Austin will go in as your prisoners. We shouldn't be stopped on the way to the ship. If we are, you can say we're workers and you caught us trying to escape—what is it, Carter?" he says to Sam, who is clearly upset.

"Sir, let me go with you!"

He shakes his head. "Sorry, Major."

"Why not?! He's my father!" She bites her lip, belatedly adding, "Sir."

"That's exactly why, _Major!_" He emphasizes her rank, reminding her where they are. "That and the fact that I don't see any women down there around the ships." He holds her gaze, but speaks to the young Jaffa, "To'kel, any women down there?"

"I saw no women. They are likely in the settlement beyond the river."

"You and SG5 will cover us, Major. Understood?"

She glares at him, but relents. "Understood! Sir!" There is a world of anger in those two words.

"You have something else to say, Major?" Jack challenges.

She bites down on the reply she wants to make, holds his eyes for a long moment. "No, sir. Good luck, sir." She says the words quietly, but it is clear how she feels.

Daniel looks from one to the other. _God help Jack if he doesn't bring Jacob back,_ he thinks. Of course, if Jack does not get Jacob out, it probably means Jack will not have made it out alive either.

"Thanks," Jack forces himself to turn away from Sam as he speaks, toward Colonel Sharp.

For the next minutes they discuss details of their plan. They will wait until an hour past midnight to go in. That way, hopefully, many of the Jaffa and slave workers will be sleeping. They retreat into the forest to wait. Bra'tac and Teal'c volunteer for first watch at the rim of the valley, and the others vanish into the trees. They eat MREs—no fire, no light—and then Airman Klein and Lt. Winters of SG5 stand watch as the others lie down to sleep.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**54**

Sam can't sleep. She hates that Jack is going in without her. His reasoning makes sense—the presence of a woman in the docking zone may be enough to raise an alarm. She knows she was wrong to let her emotions show. This is a mission, just like any other, and he is her superior officer. She regrets showing her anger at him the way she did, and from here on she is determined to keep herself under control. But she still thinks she should be with them. It is her father, after all, that they are trying to rescue...

Of course this could all be fruitless. The rumor could be just a rumor. There might not be any captives. Or it might not be Jacob. But the Tok'ra would know if any other operatives are missing. No, if there are captives, they are almost surely her father and Leara.

She moves restlessly, trying to settle. She lay down on the ground beside Jack half an hour ago, not close enough to touch, but she needed to at least be near him. He is turned on his side away from her, and she lies with her back to him, but she can feel his presence. Rolling onto her back, she stares up at the sky. Through the trees she can see glimpses of stars. There is a light breeze, and the leaves above her move gently. The night is warm, and they did not bother to take out sleeping bags. Her head is resting on the rolled up jacket she pulled from her pack. She is still wide awake.

Once again, she shifts her position, turning on the side toward Jack, and finds that he is lying there watching her. At some point he has turned to face her, and now his eyes are open and very soft on her face.

When he sees her looking back, he blinks slowly and draws a deep breath. His thoughts have been going places that he has no business allowing them to go under these circumstances; they are a potentially very dangerous distraction! _Damn it, Jack!_ he thinks. _Focus on the mission!_ He reaches up and scrubs at his face; he shifts his gaze slightly so he is looking over her shoulder.

_No,_ she thinks. _Don't look away from me. _"Sir." She whispers the word, less than a whisper, even, barely a breath of sound, softer than the breeze.

He refocuses on her face and the corner of his mouth twitches. "Carter." He shapes her name with his lips.

"I'm sorry." Another mere breath.

A small gesture of his hand waves the apology away. "Not a problem."

"Please be careful." _I love you,_ her eyes say.

"Always." _Me, too. _

They lie still for a while, simply looking at each other. At last he smiles faintly and closes his eyes. She watches him for a few more minutes, and then feels herself drifting toward sleep...

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**55**

The corridors of the ha'tak are dim, deserted and very familiar. Every Goa'uld ship they've seen seems to have been designed by the same decorator—which is actually working out well for Jack and his team. It means they know where to find the ship's equivalent of a brig.

They hadn't been challenged crossing the open valley floor toward the ship. The one guard at the pyramid entrance had merely glanced at the tattoos the Jaffa wore and waved them in. Teal'c had allowed Daniel to use camo makeup to darken the gold emblem on his forehead, so as not to call attention to it, however it is still Apophis' mark. There is the chance that Teal'c or Bra'tac will be recognized, but it is a slim one; most of Apophis' fleet originally belonged to some other system lord, and are staffed by Jaffa who would not know them by sight.

Now they are moving quickly along the corridor away from the ring room. The prisoner cells are located on this level; there will likely be more guards here. Jack, Daniel and Lt. Austin are armed with concealed Berettas and zats; the three Jaffa have their staff weapons as well as zats. Bra'tac is in the lead; at the next intersection he raises a hand for them to halt. They flatten themselves against the wall and Jack moves up beside Bra'tac, and carefully looks around the corner. The guard station is five yards down the corridor. Four Jaffa are visible. Beyond them are a line of cells. It is too dim to make out anything inside the cells, but if they were empty, guards would be unnecessary.

Jack signals for them to withdraw, and they move back down the corridor, out of earshot. "We go with the plan we discussed," Jack whispers. He looks to the three Jaffa. "Go. We'll back you up."

Teal'c nods. With Bra'tac and Tok'el he marches toward the intersection. They turn the corner in formation and advance on the guards. Jack, Daniel and Austin crouch at the intersection, their weapons ready.

The squad leader steps away from his post to challenge Teal'c as they approach.

"Who are you? What is your business?"

"You have the Tok'ra prisoners here?" Teal'c demands, ignoring the questions.

"Yes."

"The Lord Apophis has ordered us to remove them to his mothership."

The squad leader sees that Teal'c and Bra'tac both wear Apophis' sign, but he still offers an objection; "Mallphor will not like this," he says.

"So be it," Teal'c says haughtily. He assumes Mallphor is the chief interrogator. "My Lord is angry that Mallphor has accomplished so little. He will oversee the questioning himself."

"I must notify Mallphor."

"You dare question the Lord Apophis' orders?!"

The squad leader snaps to attention. "No!"

"Unlock the cell!"

The man turns and leads them to one of the cells. He punches the keypad and the door slides open.

"Bring them out!" Teal'c orders.

The squad leader motions to one of the other guards and they enter the cell. A few moments later, the two prisoners are hauled into the corridor. Jacob is on his feet, but appears barely able to stand. His eyes widen slightly when he sees Teal'c. The woman is only semi-conscious, and the guard lets her slump to the floor. Teal'c eyes the two of them, then turns to the squad leader and gives one decisive nod.

An instant later the air is filled with electrical charge, as all three Jaffa rapidly draw and discharge their zats at the guards. Three go down immediately and the fourth is just raising his weapon when Jack steps into the corridor and brings him down with a blast from his own zat. Several shots later, there is no trace left of the guards.

"Jacob!" Jack exclaims moving toward the older man and grasping his arm.

Jacob straightens and smiles. "I'm not as bad off as I look, Jack. I knew you'd find us."

"Course you did. How's your friend?" He gestures to Leara. Daniel and Bra'tac are kneeling, examining her.

"She's not so good. Needs some medical attention."

"What about her snake? Couldn't help her?"

Jacob gives him a mild glare at the 'snake' remark. "Apophis has found a way to incapacitate the symbiote without harming the host." He quickly explains about the drug, and how he was able to combat its effects on Selmak.

"That sounds pleasant," Jack says, looking slightly disgusted.

"We do whatever works," Jacob replies.

"Well, right now what we've gotta do is get out of here," Jack declares. "Daniel, can you help her?"

"I will carry her, O'Neill," Bra'tac says.

"Good enough. Daniel, you help Jacob. The rest of us will cover you. Let's go."

The corridors are as deserted as they were on the way in, and they encounter no one until they reach the pyramid entrance. Teal'c ambushes the guard from behind and breaks his neck with one twist. He hides the body inside the pyramid, since zat fire might be detected. They cross warily over the open space between the pyramid and the edge of the valley, and climb quickly into the trees at the rim. Jack is tempted to breathe a sigh of relief, but then reminds himself that they aren't through the gate yet.

Sam greets her father with a quick hug as they enter the forest, speaking to him softly.

"We need to move out before they discover their prisoners are gone," Jack says. He turns to Col. Sharp. "Vic, take point, with your team. Teal'c, To'kel, Daniel and I will cover the rear. Carter, you and Bra'tac tend to Jacob and Leara. Go, everybody!"

So they move, as quickly as possible, toward the stargate.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	19. Chapter 19

**Yes, indeed—that was way too easy!**

**56**

An activating stargate is always an attention getter, especially when it is unexpected! Colonel Sharp and Airman Klein are in the lead as the group emerges from the woods into the gate's clearing, and they see the sixth chevron locking, and the gate beginning its turn toward the seventh.

Sharp immediately wheels around, signaling those behind him and calling a warning, "Incoming! Take cover!"

They scatter off the path and disappear into the darkness and undergrowth. By the time the _kawhoosh _lights up the surrounding area there is no one to be seen.

Jack moves quickly forward to crouch at Sharp's shoulder, glancing around to make certain everyone is concealed. Teal'c is at his other side, barely visible in the dimness. They watch the event horizon form and duck lower into the shadows cast by its light.

For several seconds nothing happens, and then the surface ripples and two Jaffa emerge, marching side by side. They are followed by three more pairs of guards. They scan the clearing quickly, the leader barks an order, and they take positions, four on either side of the gate.

One more Jaffa emerges, stepping immediately to the side. He is tall and powerful, and on his forehead he carries a tattoo identical to Teal'c's. He is obviously Apopis' present First Prime.

Then Apophis himself steps through the gate.

Jack feels Teal'c tense beside him.

After a small hesitation, the Goa'uld proceeds down the steps, the First Prime two steps behind. Next come a dozen servants, guiding two large wheeled transports in a rather rough passage down the steps. Finally comes another squad of Jaffa. Behind them, the event horizon dissolves, plunging the clearing into darkness. The First Prime barks an order, and several of the servants produce torches which are lit to illuminate the path.

Apophis pauses to look around the clearing, and then speaks to the First Prime. "Did I not order guards placed at the chappa'ai?"

"You did, My Lord." The First Prime bows. "I assigned them myself. They were on duty when we departed."

He turns and snaps more orders to the Jaffa. Six of them break away in different directions toward the surrounding woods.

"He has ordered them to find the missing guards," Teal'c murmurs in Jack's ear.

Jack nods. He touches Sharp's arm and signals for them to ease backwards. One of the Jaffa is headed in their direction, but is still some distance away. Jack hopes the rest of his people are well concealed.

Sam and Bra'tac have taken cover about five meters behind, and several meters to the side of Jack's position, on the opposite side of the pathway. They ease Jacob and Leara to the ground. To'kel and Daniel have moved up toward them and are positioned in the trees to their left. Austin and Winters are beyond them.

Daniel eases over to the left toward the two members of SG5, in order to spread out the targets for the Jaffa to home in on, and to give themselves more advantage.

From the far side of the stargate, there is a shout. They have found the guards!

Colonel Sharp glances at Jack, and Jack nods, gives some rapid hand signals. _Now, while we have some surprise advantage. _ _On three!_

Sharp opens the channel on his radio, gives three quick taps on the mike. He receives four taps in acknowledgement—from Sam, Daniel, Austin and Winters—_Ready! _ Jack signals _go,_ and Sharp gives three more taps, one second apart.

On the third tap, the woods around them erupt as the SG teams open fire on Apophis and his guards. Jack is standing behind a nearby tree, and Sharp and Klein have taken prone positions front of him. To their left Sam, To'kel and Bra'tac in one spot, and Austin, Winters and Daniel further over, all open up on the enemy.

Five Jaffa go down in the first onslaught. The servants run screaming in all directions, some of them directly into the fire of Apophis' guards. The guards who are still standing rush to find cover or to protect their god. Apophis has moved quickly aside; however, he has his personal shield raised, so he is essentially safe from the attack.

Teal'c is crouching a few feet from O'Neill, firing his staff weapon steadily, taking care to make each blast count. He himself has already taken down three more of the guards. Those left have now found cover, except for the First Prime, who stands stalwartly in front of his master, his protective armor closed. Teal'c's blast staggers him, but he does not go down.

"Give me your sidearm!" Jacob demands from beside Sam.

"Dad..." she starts to object.

"I'm fine," he says. "Selmak is getting stronger."

She hands him the Beretta, and he comes up to a crouch beside her, joining the fight.

To their left, Bra'tac shelters beside a tree, and beyond him crouches To'kel, both firing steadily.

From the spot where she knows Daniel is, alongside Austin and Winters, Sam hears a cry of pain, and winces. A staff blast hits the tree to her right and she refocuses quickly.

Two additional guards and several of the servants are now lying in the clearing in front of the stargate. By Vic Sharp's count, that leaves six guards, plus the First Prime still on their feet. Much better odds. However, he knows it is a mistake to totally discount the surviving servants; they may be even now on their way to the valley for reinforcements. He scoots backward to O'Neill's position, to mention this to him.

"Yeah," Jack agrees. "We need to get through the gate." He crouches beside Sharp. "Concentrate fire on the guards beside the steps."

Sharp nods, signaling for Klein to do the same.

Jack remains on one knee behind the tree, firing at the Jaffa who have taken shelter beyond the steps of the gate platform.

Two more Jaffa fall to the assault.

Jack thumbs his radio. "Daniel, Sam, focus on the gate guards. Vic, try to take out the First Prime." He hears another cry from his left and hopes that the shot has not been fatal.

"Sir," Sam says on the radio. "To'kel has been wounded."

Teal'c and Sharp are focusing on Apophis and the First Prime. Despite his protective armor, the Jaffa has finally been injured, but he responds when his master gives him an order. The two of them fade into the woods, leaving the few guards still standing on their own.

"Watch the trees," Jack says. "They may not have gone far."

Another Jaffa falls at the stargate steps. Three others bolt from the cover of the steps and make for the trees.

There is a lull in the fire from the guards.

Teal'c steps from his cover, and stands carefully scanning the darkened clearing.

"Teal'c?" Jack says.

"I shall attempt to dial the gate, O'Neill."

"We'll cover you."

Teal'c moves forward quickly toward the DHD. There is no response from the Jaffa. He crouches beside the dialing device and presses the symbols in rapid succession. The wormhole opens and he sends his IDC.

"Daniel! Sam! Bra'tak!" Jack calls. "Take Jacob and Leara through the gate!"

"Austin is wounded!" Daniel replies.

"As is To'kel!" adds Bra'tak!

"Winters!" Vic shouts.

"I'm good, sir. I've got Austin."

"Go!"

There are a few staff shots from the woods as they break cover and run for the gate, crouching low. Bra'tak is first through, carrying Leara, and close behind him comes Sam, her arm around Jacob's waist. Jack breathes a sigh of relief when he sees her vanish into the event horizon. Daniel follows, supporting To'kel. Winters, with Austin in a fireman's carry over his shoulders, is only a step behind Daniel

"Sharp! Klein! Go!" Jack yells.

They run headlong into the blue wormhole.

"Teal'c!"

"I will cover you, O'Neill!" responds the big Jaffa.

Neither of sees the single Jaffa guard crouching at the edge of the clearing to the side of the gate.

"Together, Teal'c!" Jack calls, as he charges from the trees.

At the same time Teal'c starts to run for the gate. He is only a handful of steps behind Jack when the guard rises from his crouch and aims his weapon. From the corner of his eye, Teal'c catches the movement. He turns. Too late. The blast hits O'Neill solidly in the back, and propels him forward to sprawl on the steps a meter short of the event horizon. Teal's shot, taking down the guard, comes only a second later.

"O'Neill!" he shouts, as he sweeps up Jack's body and plunges through the gate.

**57**

Sam hits the ramp at a run, breathing hard, Jacob beside her. He is moving more easily by now, and her arm around his waist is almost unnecessary for his support. She stops at the bottom of the ramp, feeling sick suddenly and weak. Jacob turns toward her and tightens his arm around her shoulders. "Sam?" she hears him say.

Daniel and To'kel are almost on their heels, following them down the ramp and moving to the side to clear space for Winters with Austin.

Medical personnel immediately descend on Jacob, Austin and To'kel. Bra'tac has already placed Leara on a gurney.

Colonel Sharp and Airman Klein are only a few moments behind Daniel, the sound of their boots on the metal grill pounding in Sam's head.

Time slows down around Sam; it seems as if long minutes pass before the event horizon ripples once more. Jack! she thinks. Where are you?

When they finally emerge, Teal'c carrying Jack.

_Omigod!_ Sam's mind freezes. She cannot think. _Omigod..._

She watches, silent and unmoving, as Teal'c runs down the ramp and the iris cycles shut behind them. He places Jack on a gurney at the end of the ramp. Janet bends over him and then she is shouting something and one of the corpsmen jumps onto the gurney, straddles Jack's body and begins CPR.

Sam realizes then that Jack's heart has stopped; the world around her turns gray and she hears her father's voice calling her name...


	20. Chapter 20

**58**

"I'm fine, Dad! Let me go!" Sam struggles against Jacob's grip as she fights to follow the gurney taking Jack out of the gate room.

"Sam—you're bleeding! Calm down!" Jacob urges. She had sagged against him a few moments ago, and he'd seen the blood and grabbed her, thinking she was fainting. But she'd recovered quickly, almost frantically, when she saw Jack being wheeled away.

"No! I'm okay! I have to go with him..."

Daniel steps in front of her, and puts his hand on her shoulder. "Sam, you're injured... Look."

She follows his gaze and is surprised to see the blood running down her arm. She has not felt pain up until now, just the weakness that hit her earlier. "What..." she stutters. Another wave of dizziness sweeps over her and Daniel and Jacob both catch hold of her as she sways. Jacob's hand lands on the bleeding shoulder and she cries out in pain.

He adjusts his grip quickly. "Sorry, Sammie baby..."

"Your shoulder's been hit," Daniel says, waving one of the medical teams over. A few moments later, she is on a gurney with a corpsman and a nurse bending over her.

"Daniel," she begs. "Find out about Ja... the Colonel..." Her shoulder is starting to really hurt now, and after a final protest, she allows the corpsman to carefully remove her vest and cut away her shirt in order to apply a gauze pad to the bleeding wound. "I didn't even feel it before..." she mutters.

"Adrenalin," Jacob says, walking beside the gurney as they head out of the gate room.

He stays beside his daughter on the way up in the elevator, and even in the infirmary, despite the efforts of the medical staff to take him aside and examine him. Sam even cracks a faint smile when he pulls rank on them and orders them to leave him be and tend to the injured people. They've inserted an IV and injected a painkiller and she's getting a little woozy. "You'd never get away with that if it was Janet..." she murmurs. But Janet is taking care of Jack, _thank God_; Sam saw her as they passed by the intensive care cubicles...

She looks around for Daniel and sees him in the corridor talking to Teal'c. "Dad," she says, straining to see around the nurse and orderly who are taking care of her shoulder. "Dad, go see if Daniel knows anything..."

Jacob nods, and heads toward the spot where Daniel and Teal'c are conversing.

"Major Carter, please lie still," the nurse scolds as Sam cranes to see her father.

But Sam barely hears her, she is so focused on the three men in the hall. The only thing she can think of is Jack, and her view of him being rushed from the gateroom, with the corpsman performing CPR. She tries to push up on her elbows despite a sharp pain in her left arm and shoulder, and protests when the orderly gently forces her back down. The nurse picks up a syringe from the medicine tray and injects its contents into Sam's IV. "No..." Sam protests weakly as the sedative takes effect, and she sinks into darkness.

**59**

"How is she?" Daniel asks some time later, stepping into the cubicle where Jacob is sitting beside Sam's bed. At the other side of the bed, a nurse is checking Sam's vitals.

"She took a bad hit to her shoulder and arm. The clavicle is broken. She was fighting them so much they had to knock her out," Jacob says. "What about Jack?"

"Still in surgery. Amazingly, there's no spinal damage, but Janet said he's got internal injuries, especially to one kidney. She didn't know what else or how bad until she gets inside. There's internal bleeding—apparently from shrapnel from his vest implant." Daniel leans against the end of the bed. "The blast was close range. The blow shattered the implant and that caused the damage—but without it, he'd..." his voice trails off.

Jacob nods, understanding.

Daniel is looking down at Sam. "How did she stay on her feet to get home? Did you know she'd been hit?"

"I had no idea until she collapsed," Jacob says. "I don't think she did either. I'm guessing it happened right at the end, just as we were making for the gate. Adrenalin kept her moving. Where's Teal'c?"

"He's kel-no-reeming outside the surgery door." Daniel smiles a little. "Janet will probably trip over him when she comes out. He blames himself for not seeing that last Jaffa."

"Of course he would." Jacob rubs a hand across his face tiredly.

"I can sit with Sam for a while if you want to go and rest," Daniel offers. "Or get something to eat."

Just then the nurse who is checking Sam over replaces her stethoscope around her neck and looks up at Jacob. "That's a good idea, General Carter. You should rest, too."

"How is she doing?" he asks, ignoring her advice.

"Just about as expected. Her vitals are fine."

"Will she wake up soon?"

"It may be a while. She's pretty heavily sedated. I'll be back to check on her again later." She heads for the corridor, pausing to look back at Jacob. "Please try and get some rest, General."

Jacob nods and turns back to watch Sam. Her left arm is immobilized in a sling against her body and the shoulder wrapped tightly. Daniel pulls a chair over beside Jacob and for some time the two of them sit quietly watching Sam.

After a while Jacob gets up and stretches, feeling restless. He walks out into the corridor and sees that Teal'c is still seated as before; he circles the bed and looks down at Sam from the opposite side. From here, he can see the beginning of bruising on her neck above the edge of the bandages. "I think I _will_ go find something to eat, if you don't mind, Daniel," he says after a few minutes.

"Not at all. I'll be here," the younger man assures him.

"Thanks."

On his way out of the infirmary, Jacob stops to check on Leara. She is sleeping quietly at the moment, all of her injuries having been tended to by the medical staff. Kerlin has still not recovered from the drug doses given them by the Jaffa torturers. Dr. DeLeon says he has no way to determine how long the effects will last. The scans have indicated brain activity in the symbiote at what could be a normal level for coma, but the doctor is not certain. Leara was lightly sedated for the purpose of setting her broken bones, but she is now sleeping naturally.

Further along the corridor, he sees Bra'tac visiting with the rapidly recovering To'kel, and pauses to exchange a few words, thanking them both again for their part in the rescue.

Captain Austin is lying in bed in the next cubicle, with two members of SG5 at his side. His leg is raised and bandaged from knee to groin, where he was struck by a staff blast. He appears to be sleeping, or perhaps still unconscious. Jacob stops here too, to speak with Airman Klein and Lt. Winters, again extending his thanks for their help.

He passes Teal'c sitting in the hallway outside the surgical unit, his eyes closed, his body motionless. So Jacob knows that Jack is not out of surgery yet. Otherwise, Teal'c would not still be here.

Jacob glances at a clock as he leaves for the commissary. It has been three hours since they returned through the gate.

**60**

Five hours since they returned to the SGC. Teal'c has not moved from his place outside of the surgery doors. Subconsciously he is aware of the activity and muted sounds of the infirmary swirling around him. They do not disturb him; the sounds he is waiting for, those that will claim his attention and draw him from the kel-no-reem, have not yet occurred—the sounds that will tell him O'Neill has survived the surgery.

Daniel is seated on a chair a little way down the corridor, ignoring the book that lies open on his lap. Maybe he should go back down to Sam's room and keep Jacob company. At least there he can see Sam, watch for her to wake. Janet has closed off the operating theater from the observation bay; there's no way he can have even the small comfort of watching Jack.

Janet sent word out an hour ago that she will have to remove Jack's damaged kidney, so the surgery time will be extended by several more hours. The time so far has been used stopping the internal bleeding, checking for other damaged organs, and picking out dozens of bits of shrapnel from Jack's body. The shattered pieces of the vest armor driven into his back, along with shreds of clothing and kevlar, all had to be located and removed. Daniel shudders at the gruesome picture his imagination supplies.

Once again he considers going to join Jacob in Sam's cubicle. But he hates to leave Teal'c alone, and he wants to know as soon as there is any word on Jack. Besides, Jacob has Selmak, so technically he is not alone. Daniel rearranges himself in the chair, seeking a more comfortable position, and leans his head back against the wall and closes his eyes.

"Any word, Dr. Jackson?"

The voice startles him, and Daniel looks up to find General Hammond standing in front of him. He straightens awkwardly. "No, sir. Nothing since Janet sent out word about Jack's kidney."

Hammond nods. "What about Colonel Carter?"

"Jacob is with her. They still have her sedated. Were you able to get in touch with the Tok'ra?"

"Not yet." They have been trying to reach the Tok'ra Council since the rescue party returned to earth. "They're still in the process of moving, I imagine," Hammond continues. "Ha'mara contacted us while you were on the mission, so it'll be another twenty-four hours or more before she calls again." The General studies the younger man's worried expression. "Hang in there, son. Dr. Fraiser is doing the best she can."

"Yes, sir. I know that." Daniel tries for a more upbeat tone. "I heard that Leara is waking up. Also Captain Austin's going to be all right. He'll be laid up for a while but there's no permanent damage to his leg. And of course, To'kel's symbiote has healed him already." He pauses. "Oh. And Jacob and Selmak are fine."

"That's all good news, Dr. Jackson." Hammond gives Daniel's shoulder a fatherly pat. He glances toward Teal'c. "He's been there since you got home."

"At least he's using the waiting time for something beneficial," Daniel says wryly.

**61**

Janet lifts her gaze from Jack's body on the operating table and looks around at her team. "Karen, can you close, please."

Dr. Taylor nods. "Yes, ma'am."

Janet steps away and Karen Taylor moves into the space vacated, preparing to close the wound that remains after removal of Colonel O'Neill's right kidney.

Janet perches on a high backed stool off to the side where she can still observe the procedure, but also rest for a bit. Jack's back is a mass of wounds, some small, some not so small, where the shrapnel cut through his skin and into his flesh. She is satisfied that the pieces of armor material have all been found and removed. Stitches are being placed in the larger cuts. She watches as her team works. There was some damage to his liver, and she had to resect the small affected portion of the right lobe. The Colonel's right lung was punctured in two places by shrapnel, both of which she also repaired. Likewise the pericardium had small tears, but by a miracle his heart was untouched. How he escaped spinal injury she cannot understand, since the staff blast hit dead center on his back. His entire back is massively bruised, both from the injury and from the further invasion of the surgery. She cannot predict yet what effect that much muscle damage will have. She closes her eyes to rest them for a few moments.

"Suction!" Karen's tone snaps Janet back to attention. "We've got a bleeder here, Doctor!"


End file.
